One Minute, And The Next || l.h [COMPLETED]

Chapter 30

Three days. I've spent three days in this god damn hospital. The food sucked, the tv channels were shit, and the fact that I got poked with needles at least five times a day was not pleasant. Thankfully; I've had Luke by my side, and my mom as well, when I didn't force them to go home and rest.

I didn't deserve to have their support... What I did was stupid, and they should hate me for it. They should hate me for almost making them live with the burden of my suicide on their shoulders. Although, I've done nothing to deserve their recognition, period; but they still seem to care, for reasons unknown to me.

I hear a small knock at the door before it opens. Luke walks in with a soft smile on his face. "Hey." He says, walking over to me. "The nurses say that you're being released today... that's great." He smiles, taking my hand.

"Yeah.. Thank god." I say and breathe out a sigh of relief. "I'm going crazy in here.." I mumble.

"I know, baby... Just a few more hours and you'll be home; safe and sound, alright?" He says and I nod softly.

The past few days were strange between us. Luke was acting as if nothing happened; as if we didn't argue. Yeah, he wanted to forget about it so I wouldn't get upset, but that's the thing... Not talking about it is getting me upset. I hate the facade he's put on just because he's afraid that I'll do something again. I won't. I'm not that stupid.

I want things to be truly level between us; good or bad, I just want us to be honest. I want him to yell at me and tell me how angry he was at me for cheating. I don't want him to hold it all inside and pretend that it's all alright, because it isn't; I can see it in the way he looks at me with pitiful eyes.

He's trying his hardest to make me happy, but I've made my decision. I've got everything planned out, and nothing will change my mind. I'm hoping that we can sit down and talk to each other before I do what I need too. When I go home, I'll make sure to precisely prepare everything; no hesitations.

"So.. Um, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but uh- you're mom's decorating your house for a birthday party, and she called a bunch of relatives over.." He says and my eyes widen slightly, eyebrows furrowing with them in confusion.

"My birthday was three days ago.." I point out. "Why is she even bothering?" I ask.

He shrugs, "She wanted to cheer you up." He says. "And plus, you're 18 now, that's a pretty big deal... At least to most girls." He says and adds a little awkward chuckle at the end.

"That's unnecessary considering everyone just going to be staring at me the entire time and asking me questions I don't want to answer." I mumble. I really wasn't in the mood for another family get together; not so soon after the funeral, at least.

"Yeah, they'll be looking at you, but they'll be surprised at how beautiful you look after coming right from a hospital." He says and smiles softly as an obvious attempt to cheer me up.

Why did everyone automatically assume I needed to be cheered up? I was perfectly fine, and I shouldn't be treated any differently than I normally am. I'll just take the fake compliments for now, and talk about it with Luke later.

I roll my eyes playfully. "Yes, of course, cause I'm just the perfect picture of health and beauty right now." I say sarcastically.

He smiles softly and rubs my hand gently. "I love you.." He says softly, slipping that into conversation a lot more often these past few days. It was as if he wanted to make sure I've heard him say those words to me often these past few days; and I don't like that. I want him to say he loves me because he means it, not because he feels obligated too.

I let out a breath of exasperation, "I love you too.." I say gently. I did love him, I do love him... I know what I need to do is going to hurt him, but I have to do it. It's time to do it.