Behind The Deep

Past memories

After Marcus's shift ended, he drove me back to his house where he told me I could stay at until I found another place to stay at. I didn't know if I'd go back to my family, not after what happen with my mom. I kept thanking him for letting me stay at his house and be safe until I found another place to stay at. He was an amazing chef! He made me DELICIOUS macaroni and cheese. I didn't wanna ask for left overs thinking it would be rude because the only thing Marcus ate today, was a moldy donut. "You can have the rest! I'm totally fine with it." I told him. He denied me over and over again saying that we can share. When I took more I felt guilty and remembered everything my family told me when I took seconds..

"Fatty" my mom snickered, "mom please stop! This is hurting my feelings." I replied. "Stop being so sensitive all the time." Dubbè said. The rest of them chimed in and agreeing with him. It was humiliating, I'm surprised that I didn't drop kick my family. If I did I would probably be even more of a monster. I always asked myself one question "What if I didn't exist in this family?" Back to the point, I put my seconds back into the pot and went up into my room.

I finished chef Marcus's food and thanked him for the meal and asked him where the spare bedroom was. He told me it was just outside of his room but to the left a little. I walked into the spare bedroom and unpacked my belongings from my bag. I realized I didn't have any clothes. Crap. Now do I have to borrow his clothes? I can't do this anymore!!

"Hey mom, can I borrow your [button shirt]? I wanna make a cute outfit!" I asked excitedly. "No! You never look good in anything so if I let you borrow one thing if mine, I think I look like you!" Mom replied. Everyone who was there, laughed at me. I walked away back upstairs and into my sad, sad room.

I was hesitating to ask Marcus if I could borrow his clothing. I didn't wanna seem unprepared! But I was., of course. Why can't I be perfect like everyone else? I just want someone to help me be perfect, like Marcus..