Kristen Bell Does Her Taxes

Kristen Bell Stands Up for Herself (Chapter 3)

CHAPTER 3

Kristen didn't know where they were going once again and Amy wasn't answering her. Every time she asked Amy anything all that Amy Adams would reply would be, "Focus on your choreo, Anna." She said this with a sneer so Kristen thought it was clear she hadn't liked Frozen or Frozen II very much. Kristen had enjoyed doing the voiceovers for such a massive company like Disney. They had treated her like a princess in the recording studio, even sending a private stretched bus to pick her up every day and bringing her the chilled bottled Fiji water her voice needed to get that high and squeaky. But now she was far, far away from Disney, in the back of Amanda Seyfried's butler's car, who she now knew was Amy Adams.

But wait, Kristen still had her secret Disney direct line access cell phone stashed in her corncob costume. If she could get at it and call the Disney company, she was sure they would send someone like Adele Dazeem to rescue her from the evil clutches of Amy Adams.

"Amy," Kristen said. "Why do you hate me so and force me to dance for what must be for your benefit because I don't think I'm benefiting at all but maybe I am and you can explain that to me now?"

Amy Adams didn't say anything at first. She kept driving and driving. The question hung in the air like an ice skater during a triple axel. It spun and spun and spun until finally Amy Adams began answering Kristen Bell's question about her job benefits.

"Kristen," Amy Adams began. "Do you remember the movie The Girl in the Window Across the Street from the Woman Having a Breakdown?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Kristen. "I filmed a miniseries parody and I played you in it!"

"I know," replied Amy Adams. "I didn't appreciate it."

Kristen started to cry, knowing she had upset sweet Amy Adams with her funny parody of her boring and borderline offensive movie.

"I'm sorry, Amy, I didn't mean for you to not appreciate it. I thought you had a good sense of humor and that the studio would've discussed this with you before we started working on it."

"They did, and I told them I'd hold the person that starred in the parody personally accountable and that I'd kill her and the studio said that was an acceptable loss now that they're not planning on making an Anna spinoff movie."

"WHAT?!" Kristen exclaimed. "NO ANNA SPINOFF MOVIE?"

Amy Adams just started laughing like an evil maniac.

"But I'm Amy Adams and I'm intelligent and I realized I could use you, Kristen Bell, to make a lot of money quickly so I can buy a ticket to fly to New Zealand and become a sheep farmer because I just really love sheep and that's all I've ever wanted so you're going to dance and help me achieve my sheep dreams."

"What will you do with me after my dancing makes you the money necessary to achieve your Kiwi sheep dreams?" wondered Kristen Bell, innocently.

"I'll send you to Mars on Elon Musk's new rocket-ship because he and I are best friends after I became friends with the aliens and learned to communicate in their language"

Amy Adams pulled the car into a new parking lot from the one before and parked.

"Time to dance," said Amy Adams to the sobbing Kristen Bell.

END OF CHAPTER 3