I am Right Here (a Hikaru no Go fan fiction)

Kifus

Sai peaked over Hikaru's back.

Hikaru had went to the Go Institution again and asked someone where he thinks a ghost would be. The man suddenly said, "Maybe a ghost would appear there," and he made Hikaru follow him.

The man brought him to a room full of Kifus, old and new.

Hikaru looked with amazement. He had never seen so many kifus in his life. Sai's eyes brightened up as he started to run around the room saying, "Lets look at this kifu. Ah! No I want to see this one!"

Sai stopped running as he heard Hikaru ask the man for some Hoinbo Shuusaku kifus. The man took out a few and gave them to Hikaru then left the room telling him to hurry up because he had to lock up the building.

Hikaru opened the kifus and started to inspect them deeply.

Sai watched Hikaru start to mumble to himself, "This is such an amazing move. If you make such a move the opponent will lose all motivation...Sai."

"H-hai!"

"He's a genius. I should have let him play more. It would have been better than me playing..."

Sai slowly started to frown as he heard Hikaru put himself down. Sai agreed that the teen should have let him play more but Sai didn't want the boy to put himself down. The ghost had a bad feeling. He thought that maybe...just maybe this boy plans to...quit go.

Sai shook his head and dismissed the thought.

"Why didn't I notice until now?" Hikaru's murmer slowly grew stronger, "Even Touya would be happier to play Sai. A genius like Sai would be better off laying everything!"

Sai didn't want to hear the rest. He wanted Hikaru to accept his disappearance. He didn't want this. He didn't want Hikaru to hate himself.

Sai lifted his hands to his ears and covered them to avoid hearing the self-hatred coming out of Hikaru's mouth.

Sai moved his hand from his ears when he could no longer hear sounds coming from the teen's mouth.

Hikaru stopped talking and a drop of tear rolled down his cheek and fell on the paper.

"Oh no!" Hikaru exclaimed as he started to rub the water off the paper but to no avail; his tears just kept rolling down.

Sai watched the poor boy's face crumple to a sob. The ghost brought his hand up to the boy's back in an attempt to rub his back. Sai wanted to tell Hikaru that he was with him and will never leave him.

But he couldn't.

"THEY ALL WANT TO PLAY SAI! NOT ME. THEY DON'T NEED ME!! ANYONE WOULD SAY THAT! SO PLEASE, GOD I WON'T ASK TO PLAY ANYMORE SO PLEASE BRING ME BACK TO THE TIME I MET SAI!"

Then there was silence.

Sai just stood still with a tear tracing down his cheek. He wished Hikaru's wish came true. He could see the teens hopeful face stare at the ceiling dreaming for a change.

But nothing happened.

Nothing changed.

Both the boy and ghost had a sad emptiness left in them. They both knew that they would never speak to each other again.

Hikaru had no more strength to hold back any tears.

He was too sad.

Too lonely.

Too much misery.

The tears pored.

His legs buckled.

He fell to the ground.

Sai watched the boy cry and said, "You know Hikaru, it was fun being with you. I'm glad I appeared before you. I just want you to know that I am always with you. Always with you in your Go."

Sai patted the crying boy's back as ne tried his best to invisibly sooth his student.

His friend.

His very sad friend.

And with this, Sai hoped, maybe he will feel better when he plays go. Maybe he will "find" me. Maybe he will play the Divine Move for me.