Bird Dude Nie Bufan

Chapter 3

After coming back from Chicken Nest Village, Zhang Junshi did not sleep well for several days. Everytime he closed his eyes it felt like there was a flock of chickens jumping around in his head. It was almost as if he had fallen into the clutches of something evil. Whenever he heard a chicken cackle during the day he would not be able to restrain himself from looking around alertly, afraid that a chicken would pop out from nowhere. As for the two workers, they too had lingering fears from Chicken Nest Village. Whenever they tell of their experience it would always have exaggerated undertones with an addition of endless admiration.

Due to the large mouths of the two workers, Chicken Nest Village soon became famous. The biggest impression it left for the people was that the village had endless chickens but only one person lived there.

As a result, thieves came along. 

Adhering to the belief that it would be foolish not to take advantage and steal a couple high quality chickens, this thief made preparations and on one night sneaked into Chicken Nest Village. 

Afterwards…….there was no afterwards. 

The art of war stated clearly, only knowing yourself and knowing your enemy will you be unscathed through a hundred battles (TN: from Sunzi’s “The Art of War”). This thief made the mistake of being careless and underestimating his opponents. Therefore, the moment he stepped into Chicken Nest Village it was destined to end in a tragedy. He had yet to even come close to the chicken coops, when he was submerged by a flood of fighter chickens. He didn’t even have the time to cry for help as in no time he had disappeared in a flurry of chicken feathers, bits of grass and chicken poop……. 

“What big balls you have! You dare to come steal chickens at Chicken Nest Village?” Nie Bufan, dressed in pajamas, sat cross legged on the bed, his arms crossed as he looked down his nose at the pitiful thief laying at his feet.

“Da ye (TN: respectful term for older men), spare me! The lowly me have eyes but fail to recognize Mt Tai (TN: expression that means failing to recognize somebody important or somebody’s great talent; to be blind to the fact)!”

The thief looked almost ready to burst into tears, his hair like a chicken nest, a bruise on one eye. There was even strangely smelling yellow white substance on his face. His clothes appeared more beggar-like than a true beggar with holes all over, en, 15 minutes ago they had been intact, truly he could not be anymore pitiful. 

“Your da ye, I, hates thieves the most, tell me, how shall I deal with you?” 

Saying so, the chickens also attending the trial let out uniform angry cackles. 

The thief shuddered, and said in a trembling voice: “If you must kill or extort I shall listen to your honorable one in all cases. Just keep me away from this flock of chickens.” 

Nie Bufan rubbed his chin, and nodded: “Alright, looking at your good repentful attitude you will be punished by staying at Chicken Nest Village to fulfill active service. Until our chicken brothers and chicken sisters are satisfied.” 

The thief with a frightened face, exclaimed: “I beg da ye, spare me! I would rather you give me a clean, straightforward end!”

“Is this not straightforward enough? You just need to help care for chickens, it’s not like you will become a chicken (TN: remember the Chinese word for chicken sounds like prostitute lol)!” 

The thief wiped at his tears: “I……I…..can I go home and see my old mother first, say my farewells?” 

Nie Bufan said with contempt: “Don’t think I don’t know, you are just an orphan. If you lie to me again I will have you sleep with Lady Flower tonight.”