Tell Me a Hundred Million Times (I Do Too)

Box 4

"Hyung, please. I can't say anything yet. I'll- I'll call you when I'm ready," Felix says. He hurriedly packs his clothes in one of his suitcases.

He perches the phone on his shoulder, between his ear. He doesn't waste any more time before one of them figures out that he's back at his apartment.

"Okay. I understand. But can you at least tell me where you are right now?" Minho says worriedly on the other line.

He can hear muffled voices. A lot of them. He can just imagine them all hovering over Minho's shoulder, leaning on the phone to hear him. He isn't on speaker, so the others must've been really close to him that he can hear them mumble and talk to each other. Felix looks around his scattered clothes on the bed, some landed on the carpet, the others, messily cramped in his suitcase. Felix takes a deep breath, and heavily slumps down on the bed. He scoots towards the center and hugs his knees close to him.

"I'm- I'm somewhere safe. I can take care of myself, Hyung" Felix reassures.

"I know you can, baby. I just- For my nerves or my heart, at least tell me where you are. I won't tell the other, I promise." Minho promises.

"You promise?"

"What about this, I'll text you where we'll meet. Just for a few minutes. I just need to know you're okay."

"You'll come alone? You promise?"

"I promise. Cross my heart."

"Okay. I'll just tell you right now. Come to the dance studio in an hour. Please come alone. Please?"

"Okay, baby. I promise. Take your time. I'll be there."

"Alright, Hyung. Thank you. See you in an hour."

"Bye, Lixie."

"Bye Lino Hyung."

Felix ends the call and lays on the bed. His arms and legs spread out. He stares at his ceiling. That spot on the ceiling looks different than the rest. Like the builders ran out of this paint then replaced it with something else, or like they're covering up a spot.

He lays on his side and looks at his bedside table. Just a few of his many plushies arranged on top. He decides he'll leave the rest behind. He's only going away for a few weeks. A month tops. Just some time away, to think. And be alone. Nothing much. He'll just leave the store to Innie and Minnie for a month, tops. He's done it before when he needed to leave and spend the holidays with his family. Hopefully, they wouldn't mind.

Felix sees the chick plushie that Bangchan once gave him. It was a gag gift. And it was funny especially because the elder wrapped it in newspapers and made it look like it was in a cardboard box. He scolded the elder for wasting properly good paper. But he said that they were from last year's issue anyway. Innie made a comment that Felix was more like a fairy than a chicken. Then Channie, at the top of his lungs, said, "I call dibs on Pixie. Only I get to call you, Pixie. Okay?"

And that's how it happened.

Felix grabs the at least 4-year-old plushie and hugs it to his chest. It looks brand new because he only puts it on there for visual purposes. Unlike his giant body pillow.

Felix lays on his back and holds the chick plushie on top of his face. "You think they'd figure out where we're going? It's way too impulsive. It wouldn't be practical for me to do it, right? It's why it's the best place I can go."

Felix lays on his left side and looks at the shoes laid out on the wall. Contrasting playfully on his all-white interior. Mostly sneakers for casual walks. and the other for dance practices. And then Felix remembers how he and Chan first met.