For Archon's Sake

Firewater

Childe gasped as he splashed cold water on his face from the basin, then regretted it as he heard Zhongli stir. He held his breath, waiting on the man's breathing to slow again before he could finish properly having his morning breakdown. It's not a big deal, Childe reasoned, gingerly wiping his face with a very expensive-looking washcloth, this is nothing new. Sometimes one night stands accidentally get attached. It's not a problem. I just need to talk to him and remind him where our boundaries lie. He let out a long sigh. Not a problem at all.

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Childe found that it was hard to reject someone when your little brother decided to swoon over him. Zhongli indulged Teucer's breakfast time antics, even making a show of flipping piping hot scallion pancakes. His little brother marveled as the consultant neatly caught his meal behind his back, then slid it onto Teucer's plate. "There is boar meat that is still warm on the fire as well. Would you like tea?" Childe didn't have to fake the laugh that snorted out of him as Teucer crinkled his nose. Zhongli drummed his fingers on the table. "Ah, I see I have a tough customer. Very well, how would you like coconut milk? I believe I have some left over from a rather...harrowing adventure. A young girl liked it so much I'm certain she would have done anything to procure it." Childe raised his eyebrows. "This...coconut milk. It must be prized if you had to go on an expedition for it. Sure you want to waste it on a couple of housegue-" "I wanna try it too! It has to be better than that yucky tea!" Teucer swung his feet excitedly. Zhongli mockingly bowed. "No one leaves my house unsatisfied." Childe peered over his teacup as he watched Zhongli scrape vanilla beans into a cup. He definitely wasn't observing the way the consultant's back flexed whenever he reached for something. "Even me? I'm more of a house crasher than a guest." Zhongli deftly tipped sugar and some other brown powder into the milk, stirring as he walked back to the table. He offered the cup to Teucer before answering Childe. "House crasher or no, I believe it is you who has experienced the most hospitality any guest has received in a while. Hopefully, it was up to your standards," he teased, turning back to Teucer as Childe fought the warmth that wanted to rush to his face.

"Is it to your liking, little one?" Childe felt a pang in his heart as he remembered the way Skirk used to prod at him during breakfast. Make sure you properly wrap your knuckles, malysh. And eat as much as you need. We'll make that string bean body of yours into something stronger yet. He smiled sadly as Teucer nodded, a milk mustache adorning his mouth. "This is so good! But...it kinda tastes spicy too! What did you put in it?"

Zhongli chuckled as he sat down with his own plate and Childe's, carefully placing the utensils next to both of them. "I am afraid," he held a finger to his lips, "that that is a trade secret."

It occurred to Childe while Zhongli smiled at Teucer that this confrontation was going to be a bit more difficult than he thought.

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As Childe and Teucer found their way to the docks, his little brother tugged his sleeve. Childe nodded. "What is it Teucer?" "I don't want to go back home yet! Mr. Zhongli was super nice!" Childe sighed and picked up a giggling Teucer, slinging him over his shoulder like a potato sack. "Tell you what, I'll give you a piggyback ride. Then you can tell Tonia and the others that you were taller than me for a moment." He let Teucer properly wrap his legs around him, then continued onward. "Besides big brother, I know you like him! I wanted to stay so I can make fun of you like you made fun of Tonia when she brought Pyotr home-" Childe almost forgot he was talking to a nine-year-old and caught himself before he accidentally sent Teucer home with new vocabulary. "I do not like Mr. Zhongli in that way, Teucer," he said slowly. His little brother just giggled and sang "Ajax and Zhongli kissing in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" all the way up to the plank. Childe gently shoved Teucer after he set him down. "Get on the ship you little snot. And apologize to everybody when you get home. I'm sure they're all worried sick about you, you know." Teucer then hugged him one more time as he promised to say sorry. Childe watched his little brother board the ship and wave to him as the anchors were retracted. "Goodbye big brother! I'll tell Tonia and everyone about Mr. Zhongli, don't worry!"