fnaf sb incorrect quotes

rockstar row

Ooops! All glamrocks!
(I am NOT editing ships so you get what you get lol)

Police: You're under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Roxanne, with Monty and Freddy behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes...three.
Roxanne: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?
Police: Wha-
Roxanne: Chica FUCKING FELL OFF!

Monty: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??
Chica: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔
Freddy: Why were you microwaving a lemon???
Chica: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.
Roxanne: Did you burn an orange too? How???
Chica: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔
(of course she ate them after)

Chica: Which country has the most birds?
Chica: Portu-geese!
Monty: That's a language.
Chica: Portu-gull?
Monty: Good recovery.
Freddy: I think you mean good re-dovery.
Roxanne: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

Chica: You're smiling. What happened?
Monty: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?
Roxanne: Freddy tripped and fell down the stairs today.

Freddy: Why is Roxanne crying on the floor?
Chica: They took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes.
Freddy: And?
Chica: They got Monty.

Monty: So, are they your friend or...
Freddy: They're like Chica, but if Chica was ordered to be around you.
Monty: Oh, so Roxanne.
Freddy: Precisely!

Chica: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.
Freddy: Weight loss? Drink water.
Roxanne: Clear skin? Drink water.
Monty: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.
 *cue bonnie flashbacks*

Freddy: You know you can die from that, right?
Roxanne: *smoking a cigarette* That's the point.
Chica: *drinking alcohol* We're trying to speed this up.
Monty: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*

Chica: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.
Roxanne: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.
Freddy: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.
Monty: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

Freddy & Monty in the back of Chica's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!
Roxanne: We have food at home.
Chica: *pulls into the McDonald's drive through*
Freddy & Monty: YAYYYYYY!
Chica: *orders one black coffee and leaves*
:C

Freddy: *about Chica and Roxanne* They make a cute couple, huh?
Monty: They certainly are standing next to each other.

Monty: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
Chica: I sleep with a knife.
Roxanne: Both of you are pathetic.
Monty: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
Roxanne: Freddy.

Monty: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container.
Chica: The cow??
Monty: What?
Roxanne: Chica, W H Y?

Roxanne: Your smile? It makes my day.
Chica: Your happiness? I live for that.
Freddy: A room? Get one.
Monty: Hotel? Trivago.

Freddy: I just found out from Chica today that when Bonnie died and the service did the 21-gun salute at their funeral, Monty said, "They should aim at the coffin to be sure."

Monty: Oh god, they texted you 'hi.'' punctuation only means one thing, Roxanne. They're mad at you.
Roxanne: No, it's Freddy. They're just being gramatically correct!
*meanwhile*
Freddy: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.
Chica: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.
Freddy: I stand by my choice.

Chica: That's ridiculous, Roxanne doesn't have a crush on me.
Freddy: Yes they do.
Monty: Yes they do.
Roxanne: Yes I do.

Chica: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.
Roxanne, Freddy, & Monty: Okay.
Chica: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.
Freddy: Bold of you to assume I have money.
Roxanne: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.
Monty: Bold of you to assume I can die.

Chica: What's it like being tall?
Monty: Is it nice?
Roxanne: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
Freddy: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Roxanne: I'm bored.
Monty: Wanna commit first degree murder?
Roxanne: Sure!
Freddy, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Chica down!!

Roxanne, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-
Monty, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?
Chica, also singing:The taste of his cherry chapstick.
Freddy, appalled: Call the exorcist.

Chica: We need to distract these guys.
Roxanne: Leave it to me.
Roxanne: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Freddy & Monty: *immediately begin arguing*

Chica: Who wants to go out of the country on a road trip?
Freddy: Yea, I could drink legally!
Roxanne: I could hang out with the boys!
Monty: I could hide from the consequences of my actions.

Roxanne: I give up. I am so tired.
Freddy: Get the emergency supply!
Monty: *carries Chica and places them in front of Roxanne*
Chica: *smiles*
Roxanne: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET'S GOOO

*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword*
Monty: Rude.
Roxanne: That's fair.
Chica: Not again.
Freddy: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

Roxanne: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Freddy: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Monty: FLOOR IT!!
Roxanne: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Freddy: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Roxanne: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Monty: DO IT!
Freddy: NO-

Freddy: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
Chica: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Freddy: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.
Chica: But I heard a siren.
Roxanne: That was Monty.
Monty: Sorry, I got nervous.

*The gang when they drop food on the floor*
Monty: Aw man. *Throws it away*
Freddy: Five second rule!
Chica: Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me!? *Eats it off the floor*
Roxanne: *Sobs on the floor*

Monty: Roxanne is taking credit for Chica's work, getting them to deal with everything, and making fun of them! You know what they sounds like?
Freddy: You?
Monty: No, I meant... You know Chica. In spite of being clever and sarcastic they're also... fragile and weird and they have trouble fitting in. And Roxanne is taking advantage of their weakness! You know what that's called?
Freddy: A Freddy?
Monty: ...Yeah, but I'm the only one who should be allowed to do that, okay?!

Freddy: Wake me up-
Monty: Before you go go
Chica: When September ends
Roxanne: WAKE ME UP INSIDE