If living was the hardest part

Easter nests

*phils pov*

"Oh my god Phil these are the best!" Said Dan shoving another Easter best into his mouth
"I know right" replied Phil

Phil watched as Dan chewed the nest, a tiny bit of it falling out of his perfectly kissable mouth, before his soft, pale, hands quickly wiped it away. He was so perfect, every detail, every inch, every quirk, utter perfection. But he was straight, and Phil knew that. But he couldn't help but dream about there sweaty body's pressed up against each other under the covers, naked, or his soft, pink lips pressing the end of his nose as he "unwrapped" his final Christmas present (the clothes being the wrapping the Dan being the present) or the hundreds of other fantasies going though his mind. But none of them are real, because Dan is straight and Phil just had to accept that. But how?
"Phil? Phil!" Dans said, waving his hands in front of phils face "PHIL!"

"What?"

"You zoned out again!" Dan said, clearly annoyed, "that's the 3rd time this weak you have just looked at me and went blank, what's wrong Phil" Dan said the last 3 words with a little more concern, but the annoyance still there

"N-nothing's w-wrong d-Daniel" said Phil trying to sound normal, but everything is wrong when dans lips aren't pressed up against his, or when they're not watching films together on the sofa.

"Did you just call me my full name??" Dan said sounding proper concerned now

"S-sorry d-Dan"

"Phil, please tell me what's wrong, your not on drugs are you?"

The truth is he was, he was on drugs, he did go to gay strip bars and fucked men he barley even knew the name of, it was true that he had a drinking problem, it was true that he was male whore, but worst of all it was true that he was a useless faggot who had feelings for a boy that could never love him.

"Phil? Phil please tell me your not doing it again!" Dan said still annoyed with how worthless and pathetic Phil was

"No I'm fine Dan, I think I'm gonna go to bed." Then Phil walked up the stairs to his lonely cold room, unaccompanied by the younger, sexier, straight boy, called Daniel.

       *dans pov*

'What's wrong with Phil? He's been zoning out recently and it's really scary,  I also hear him cry "Dan" in his sleep, is he scared of me? Does he need a doctor? I don't know I'm really scared, Phil is the best friend I ever had and I can't lose him, I'm so concerned, oh also I heard him mutter "stop being annoyed at me" going up the stairs does he think I'm mad at him? I hope not! Any ways I have to go check on Phil, I'll continue the paragraph later - Dan'  I put my diary in my pocket and walked up the stairs slowly to check on Phil, I hope he isn't self-harming again, I love that boy so much he saves my life and all I can do to repay him is make him feel worthless, I'm such a fuck up!

AUTHORS NOTE 🐢

Okay so that's the first chapter, did you like it?