My Prince Charming is Dead

Chapter 4 - The First Kiss

It has been 2 weeks since the time that I broke up with Arkin, my ex-fiancè. Ang masaklap pa doon, I didn't tell anyone the reason why I called off the wedding and broke up with him. Kaya all of the people around me thinks I'm really a bitch. And I don't care. Bahala sila sa gusto nilang isipin. Hindi ako artista para magdrama at palakihin pa ang issue.

Si Arkin naman ay panay ang padala ng mga bulaklak at patuloy ulit akong sinusuyo. Sa totoo lang, oo may parte sa akin na nasaktan ako, pero mas malaking parte sa akin, felt relieved after breaking up with him. Kasi, na-realize ko na hindi ko pala siya ganoon kamahal para magpatali ako sa kanya.

Kaya bumalik ako sa pagiging workaholic ko. I want to prove to my Dad that I can already manage the Airline business at makaalis na agad dito sa Retail business namin. Mas lalo na ngayon na, nasa isa kaming kumpanya ng first love and first heartbreak ko. Oh well. Aaminin ko, simula ng nagkita ulit kami ay unti-unting bumabalik yung mga alaala namin na matagal ko ng nabaon sa lupa. Yun ang akala ko.

Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng ginagawa kong report ng bigla kong napansin ang lalaking nakatayo sa may pintuan ng opisina ko. Kahit na hindi ko pa nililingon ay alam ko na kung sino iyon. Nagkunwari akong hindi ko pa napapansin ang presensya niya at nagpanggap na busy sa kaka-type ng kung ano. I could really feel butterflies in my stomach kaya naman ay hindi ko siya namalayang nasa tabi ko na pala.

"Ganyan na pala gumawa ng report ngayon, Amanda" rinig ko na hagikhik ni James.

Nagulat ako ng narinig ko ang boses niya at doon ko lang napansin na puro 'asdjksjbavakkanbabjakkanbbsbjkakn' ang nasa screen ko. I know that I'm beet red. At dali-dali kong pinindot ang backspace.

"Do I still affect you that much?" May bahid na yabang ang pananalita niya kaya naman ay noong lilingunin ko na dapat siya ay mas ikinagulat ko, sobrang lapit ng mukha niya sa akin, and I was really stunned.

"You don't need to answer me, I could already tell, because it's already written all over your face."

"You're crazy" sabi ko at napangiwi ako sa kakaibang yabang niya ngayon.

"I think I am"

Pagkasabi niya noon ay naglakad na siya papalabas ng pinto ko at katulad ng ginawa niya noong isang araw ay nilingon niya ulit ako at nginitian. Ngumuso lang ako at hindi ko alam kong bakit hinintay ko siyang mawala sa paningin ko.

What was that all about? Ngayon ko lang napagtanto how ridiculously I responded to him. At talagang inamin pa niyang baliw siya ha. And yes, James, you still affect me. Pero, hinding-hindi ko aaminin iyon sa iyo. Over my dead body.

Ibang-iba na nga talaga siya. He really looks good now. But, I prefer his old self. Minsan nga, I am regretting what I did. Sa totoo, kahit na I feel weird noong mga panahong geek pa siya ay mas nagustuhan ko siya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero siguro ay kitang-kita ko ang sinseridad sa mga mata niya. I was drawn to his innocence, isang bagay na hindi ko nakita sa mga lalaking pumoporma sa akin o sa ibang lalaking kakilala ko.

But now, for sure hindi na siya inosente sa mga bagay-bagay. Iniisip ko pa lang ang mga babaeng nahalikan na niya ay sumisikip na ang dibdib ko. I've kissed other guys too pero aaminin ko, na pagdating sa kanya, nanghihina ako. He was my first kiss. At siguro nga the other kisses won't matter anymore. Kaso, I was not his first kiss though. So I guess, I don't matter to him that much.

I remembered it clearly. And up to know I can still taste his lips. It's as if it was just yesterday. Nangyari iyon kaumagahan pagkatapos ng prom.

Hindi naging maganda ang naging prom night ko kahit na ako ang naging prom queen and I was with the most popular guy in school, I am still hoping I am with James.

Noong una, I was still in denial that I am falling in love with him. Pero noong nakita ko silang magkasama ni Cara at magkasayawan, I am really devastated. I was putting my fake smile the entire night. Ang hindi lang talaga kinaya ng powers ko ay noong slow dance na. I was looking them at the corner of my eye. They are so happy especially James. And then I saw Cara leaning to James and I am sure they will kiss kaya umiwas ako ng tingin.

The next day, I didn't want to go outside my room. I just couldn't face anybody, even my parents. My tears have dried out but I am still hurting inside. I just learned that with love, it will either make you the happiest or the loneliest. And God, it really hurts especially if the person you love, doesn't love you back.

I didn't know how long I was asleep, and I woke up feeling like someone is looking at me. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised that James is beside my bed looking really concerned.

"Hey, finally, nagising ka na din. Akala ko forever ka ng matutulog eh," biro niya.

I looked at him and I am not sure how to answer. Traydor ang feelings ko. Kanina lang iniiyakan ko siya, pero ngayon I feel happy to see him again.

"Buhay pa naman ako. Masama na ba matulog ng matagal?" Sabay ngiti ko sa kanya.

"I was just worried about you. I didn't saw you when you went home last night. I was also calling you but your phone could not be reached."

Makikita mo talaga sa mga mata niya ang pag-alala. Pero nung naalala ko na naman kung bakit bigla na lang ako umalis pagkatapos ng coronation. Hindi ko maiwasang malungkot. I saw them kiss.

"Sorry about that. I was tired. And my foot is really sore from the stilletos I wore"

"Ikaw talaga. Bakit kasi nagsuot suot ka pa kasi ng ganon" sabay gulo niya sa buhok ko.

"No pain, no glory. Di naman ako nagsisisi. Ako naging prom queen eh" I avoided his eyes. Kasi kahit nanalo ako last night. I still feel like a loser.

"Congrats again. But you don't look happy. May problema ba?"

"It's nothing. I told you. I am just tired." I frowned at him.

He lifted my chin and he frowned as well as and he is checking my face. I feel uneasy with our closeness. And I could feel my face turning beet red.

"Don't lie to me, Amanda. You cried. What is the problem?" Pagkasabi niya noon ay iniwas ko agad ang mukha ko sa kanya.

"It's nothing. Tears of joy. Nanalo ako, remember?" Sige lang, Amanda, don't let him know that you are hurt. "I am not sad, you idiot. Masaya ako. And I am more happy for you. You and Cara? I saw you guys last night. Kayo na ba?"

"Huh? Kami? Why would you even think that?" And he gave me that confused look.

"Duh, kaya nga ilang buwan tayo nag practice diba? So you can get the girl. Wag mo sabihing naduwag ka na naman?"

"I liked her, Amanda. But not to the extent of making her my girl."

"What do you mean?" Nagtataka kong tanong.

"Manhid ka ba, Amanda?" Sabay tayo niya. Alam kong naiinis siya. Pero di ko alam kung bakit naiinis siya.

"Manhid? Ako? Ano ba sinasabi mo James?" Utal kong sabi kasi di ko alam kung bakit bigla siyang nag iba ng mood.

He sat beside me again. Nagulat ako ng bigla niya akong ikulong sa bisig niya. It was so fast. He leaned down and I felt his lips on my lips. I was too stunned to move. Hindi ko din alam sa sarili ko, though that was my first kiss, I can't help myself to respond that kiss. I was already drunk on his kisses. And then he pulled away.

"I am inlove with you ever since, Amanda. It was you I want ever since."