Formula One Imagines

How you meet - Alex Albon yum

TRIGGER WARNING LOTS OF DRUGS
(Listen to prisoner by dua lipa while reading❤️)

My alarm was set to go off in the morning.

Ring ring ring ring

WHO THE FUCK IS CALLING ME?!

Oh it's my dumb alarm. Silly me.

I wake up and realise I fell asleep in my clothes from the night before. A nuns outfit. Crazy night at the church.
A
I am a Buddhist. I love meditating with the calm app which I downloaded after clicking an ad on instagram.

It's my meditation class in 5 minutes. I am very excited.
My evening meditation always starts with me getting ready with a nice outfit.
Homeless clothes.

I sit on the corner with a sign saying "Give me bare money now." I get arrested for fraud and get addicted to the cocaine. Just like all of the house cats.

"I'm kinky minky I'll kill you" my cell mate said. It was finally visiting hours.

I went to the visitors room, expecting my ex-boyfriend to come in and tell me how much he misses me.

He is a singer. He does gigs at Alcoholics Anonymous on Thursdays. He's called Enrique.

Kinky minky offers me a line of the good stuff under the table while we wait.
I refuse. I don't want Enrique to think I am taking the drugs. 

I snorted the line off of kinky minkys forehead.

"MUM!?" - A stupid boy shouts.

"I AINT YOUR MUVVA"

"YES YOU ARE"

It reminded me of watching Cat in Eastenders.

Meow.

"Hi, I'm Alex, kinky minkys son. I'm sorry that she didn't wash her forehead"

"That's ok" I said while wiping the cocaine from my nostril.

Alex sat down. He was wearing crocs and a tight sweater vest which he bought from GAP kids.

"Alex..?" I asked
"Did you see a Spanish man in the waiting room?"

"No... Carlos doesn't like prison anymore since kinky minky asked him if he wanted to play with her pepperami"

"NO. IT'S JAMON!!!!" Kinky minky screams.

I feel scared. And shaky. And paranoid.

"STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!" I shout at the water tank as I sweat.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Alex asks.

"I need your help. I need cocaine and I need to get out of here." I whisper but everyone looked at me, Alex holds his ear claiming I screamed into it.

"Baby, I'm a successful F1 driver. I'll pay for your bail."

Alex walks over to the policebitch

"How much to get her out of the big house boss man?" Alex says wiggling his eyebrows.

"She's not even an inmate, she just visits."

"Oh, okay."

Alex slides on his belly, like a caterpillar over to me.

"You're out. Come on Y/n, I can't stand to see you in here much longer. I can be your hero baby."

"Oh Alex." I swooned.

We went straight to dragons den.

"I'm so nervous"

"Hi dragons. I'm Y/n, and this is Alex. And we're here to present to you, crystal meth." 

"Wow. What a god product. I love that I can see both the past, present And future at the same time" Peter homes said as he buried his head in his lunch box of meth.

"We want to make you an offer" Deborah Meaden shrieked.
"I will give you all of the money. For another ten minutes licking the residue out of these baggys"

"Thank you Deborah. I will just need to call my business partner "

"You whatizzle the dizzle with the drizzles?"

We got arrested but luckily I shoved a spoon up my nose. For once, not a coke spoon. But I saw this film once. It was called something like the ginormous escape from the big man's house.

Me and Alex dug and dug until we realised we were in curry's pc world. We were just both high.

"I love you Y/n, please marry me."

"Only if you get your redbull seat back. And take me out on a proper date. And lick kinky minkys lips."

"She's my mum"

"ALEX"

"Okay baby"