Second Chance At Love

The Truth.

Brynn
!TW AHEAD!

I talked to Valdez earlier and he told him, Xander, and Rhys were going out tonight. Cgc told them he'd stay home instead to study film. Surprisingly, he's been staying in a lot. It's not because he actually wants to, it's my fault. I hurt him. It was the last thing I wanted to do and yet, I still did it. When Luke asked me on a date two weeks ago, I hesiated to say yes because of a conversation I had with Cgc a while back. After he expressed that he felt something towards me, I told him that there were reasons as to why I couldn't be in a relationship. Something that I hadn't quite healed from completely.

I couldn't be in a relationship with him — or anyone— knowing I hadn't completely let go of that one thing. That one thing that happened years ago that still had a tug on my heart, on the decisions I make every single day. I didn't tell him what it was because I wasn't ready to. He told me that whenever I was ready, he'd be there waiting for me. I told him it wasn't fair but he said he didn't care because he'd never felt the way he felt for me, for someone else. It hurt me to know that because Cgc is such a great guy that I only wished I could reciprocate those feelings.

I have to apologize to him. I've tried mutiple times, but he just keeps avoiding and ignoring me. I hope that doesn't happen tonight. It's 10:00 p.m. on a Saturday when I arrive at Cgc's place. Our friends just left five minutes ago and I asked Valdez to leave the door unlocked for me. I knew that if I came over and knocked, he would probably slam the door in my face or something. I open the door which is surprisingly quiet and close it behind me, locking it. I'm not surprised that Cgc isn't downstairs and kind of glad that he isn't either. I need some time to think.

I walk over to the couch and sit down. I have to remind myself that I'm here to open up to Cgc because I want to. Not because I was forced. Not because he's mad at me. I trust him more than I've trusted anyone in a while. He's important to me and losing his friendship isn't something that I want. There's no way we have just completely pushed each other out of each others lives. Maybe things will be different from now on out but I have to tell him how I'm feeling. I have to tell him about Ryle.

"So you've resulted to breaking in?" Cgc's voice makes me flinch. I didn't even hear his footsteps. He opens the fridge and grabs a water bottle before shutting it back closed. I stand up and try to say something but I can't seem to produce words. His gaze never leaves mine, like always, intimidating me even more. He takes a long swig from his cold water bottle. "I didn't break in. I asked Valdez to leave the door unlocked," I finally say. He blinks slowly. "That's breaking in. I didn't invite you in, so," he says. Okay, maybe it is slightly breaking in.

"C, can we talk? It's been two weeks," I say softly. He sucks air through his teeth and shakes his head. "Bad timing, Danvers. I've got film to study," he says already heading back for the stairs. I catch up to him and wrap my hand around his wrist. "Wait," I say, my voice coming off softer than I intended it to. He doesn't move as he turns to face me. "Brynn, I'm serious," he says. I hate that I can never know how he's actually feeling when he's upset. Cgc Scott is the best at hiding how he really feels, his face always expressionless. If he's even feeling even remotely as terrible as I am, I can't tell right now.

I don't waste any more time. "Remember that day I told you there was a reason why I just couldn't be with not only you but anyone? That I wasn't ready to open up completely? There's obviously a reason behind that. A reason that I'm ready to share with you," I say. "If you'll let me." I breath out, letting go of his wrist. My nerves start to heighten. I want to be able to tell him but if he doesn't want to listen then I'll just have to accept that, too. He looks at me, not saying anything for a long, long beat.

"Okay. Wait for me down here, I'm just gonna go turn off my tv," he says. I nod and as he disappears upstairs, I breathe out a sigh of relief. I sit back on the couch and get comfortable. I'd like to keep the story short and simple because I don't want to talk his ear off. It's a long story if I tell it fully, but I'll only make sure to get my point across so he knows why I was the way I was. Cgc comes back a couple of seconds later and plops down on the couch beside me. He's put on a shirt now as he was shirtless before. He takes another long swig from his water, finishing it off.