Another Bad Boy Story [Ziall]

Ch.6~Soulmate

Niall's POV

He puts a finger to my lips, silencing me and whispers "I love you Niall."

My eyes widen in both shock and sadness. Yeah you know, just say it straight out. But I would be lying if I said that a shiver didn't run didn't my spine at his words.

Shooting to my feet, ignoring his surprised expression at my action, I start pacing back and forth. Grasping fistfuls of my hair and pulling on them in frustration, I try to think of what to say.

But what DO I say?

I really don't like Zayn, but I can't say that to him. That's rude and it'll hurt his feelings. He's confused enough about his bullying problems, he doesn't need any more on his plate.

But I can't lie to him either. It'll only end up with a broken-hearted Zayn. He needs someone who loves him back, someone who can help him with his problems. And that person isn't me.

Maybe I could break it to him gently?

Yeah I'll do that, just like I did when I confessed to Liam that I liked him. It's not that different. Except that instead of confessing my love, I'll be rejecting his love. Totally not that different.

I stop moving back and forth and face Zayn, who's still sitting against the wall and looking at me with teary eyes. They're all wrong. He's not a bad person, he's just confused. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I kneel in front of him, looking anywhere but at him.

Ok here goes.

"Zayn, you know how everyone has a soulmate? Someone who was made just for them? A perfect match for each other?" I say slowly. That's what I believe anyways.

He just nods, titling his head as if wondering where I'm going with this.

"Well, you say you love me now, but those feelings will go away soon. You'll find your soulmate and forget about me. I'm fine with that, really. You'll see that these 'feelings' you had for me where just a phase."

The sound of a small sob, makes me turn to face him directly. The tears he's been holding back are now running freely down his cheeks, more so than before. I flinch, feeling a heavy weight on my chest. One that I recognize as guilt.

"A-are you saying y-you don't love m-me?" Zayn's strangled words cause the weight to become heavier.

Choosing my words carefully so as not to upset the crying boy in front of me any further, I say "It's not that I don't love you Zayn. I'm just not the right person for you. You need someone who's strong, dependable, loyal and caring. Someone who can help you overcome your confusion. And I'm not that person...but who knows. Maybe I am that person, I just need time to figure out my true feelings for you." I gently rest my hand on his wet cheek, wiping away the tears and say softly "Maybe, just maybe there's a chance that I do love you. Until then, I'm sorry for not returning you feelings Zayn. I truly am."

The tears have stopped flowing and now he's stating at me curiously. Then suddenly he grins.

"We'll if there's a chance that you do love me, why don't I try to speed up the process."

I feel his strong arms pull my face towards his, and I let him, wondering what he's doing.

It's not until I feel his breath on my lips that I realize what he's doing.

Zayn's going to kiss me!

Ripping his hands off my face and standing up abruptly, I shake my head at him and sprint away.

Not looking back once.

* * *

He fucking tried to kiss me!

The nerve of some people! I couldn't let him do that, especially considering the fact that I've never kissed anyone. Or had a relationship for that matter. Meaning that I'm still a virgin.

I'm nineteen and a virgin. And I'm proud!

"Niall, you alright mate?"

I look up from my place on the bed to see Liam standing at my doorway. Wearing nothing but black boxers. Perfect.

"Totally fine Li. Why you ask?" I reply trying to ignore the faint outline of his abs.

Damn, has he been working out?

"Oh, ok. Just wondering 'cause you seem off. You sure you're fine?" He gives me a concerned look, causing butterflies to erupt in my stomach.

Biting my lip I say "Fine, and thanks for caring about me LiLi."

He gives me that stupid heart melting smile of his "No problem Ni. You know I love you."

As a friend. Which isn't and never will be enough.

"Love you too Li."

Smiling like an idiot, Liam closes the door to my room and I wait until his footsteps are gone.

Groaning, I crawl under the covers of my bed, exhausted from the first day of school. Or college whichever you prefer. Getting home, doing school work, eating and showering really tired me out. I'm sure I'll get used to the pattern of things eventually. Until then, I'll have to deal with it.

Now what to do about Zayn?

I don't want to be the cause of his pain. The feeling of guiltiness hasn't gone yet and it's really bothering me. I don't want to be the reason that he cries. Or his frowns. Or his tears. Or any negative feeling at all.

It was extremely moronic of me to give Zayn false hope. I shouldn't have told him that there was a chance I would love him back. It's only going to end up causing him more pain. I can't take those words back. They're already spoken.

What I'm worried about as well is what he said to me.

'Why don't I try to speed up the process.'

He tried to kiss me. What else does he have in mind?

Sensing a shiver run up my spine, I have a bad feeling about this. Tugging the warm blankets around me, I doze off into a calm sleep.

What will he do?