Dancing In The Rain

Tear Size Rain Drops

All I could do was look away and pretend like I didn't have to come out of this fantasy that everything was still the same. He's not there anymore and he hasn't been for a while. He's gone and there is nothing I can do about it, but I think that's the part that hurts the most. I can't do anything about it, about him or about where we ended up. I just get to sit here and watch as the boy I knew fade away because of me.

"What have you been up to the past few years?" He asked breaking the silence. It began to rain but neither of us really cared. The rain would fill the void between us.

"Moving on." I said honestly. I knew that was going to sting, and bad but I really couldn't care though. I hoped it hurt him just as much as he hurt me. 

He was silent telling me that it had hurt. I hope it burned a whole through his fucking soul. I hope he felt guilty and maybe even hated him self. I know I hated myself all those years, blaming everything on how stupid I was. 

"What are your top ten favorite memories of this place?" I asked trying to mask my hate. He was still silent for a while, but it wasn't a hurt silence, more of a thinking silence.

"I'm not exactly sure. What are yours?" He said after a while.

"This place has a lot of history. Some good, some bad." I said thinking about the good times. "Good and bad there is 10 memories I will never forget."

"What are they?" He said barely whispering. He had an idea of some of them.

"The epic water gun fight in our yards is still pretty memorable." I said with a little smile. 

We had known each other for about 4 months and school had just started. The boys and I where really close by now, seeing someone everyday, all day can do that. It was the weekend and one of the first of the new school year. We where all hanging out in Kellin's back yard when his mom came outside with a box in her hands.

"Kells, I found these while I was cleaning out the attic and thought you could use them before it gets to cold." She said handing him the box fill of unfilled water balloons and water guns.

We all lunged for the box knowing one thing; who ever got the best gun would for sure win. We all grabbed a random gun and ran for the water. We where so eager to start the fight, maybe it was from the heat and needing to be cooled off or the excuse to pelt your friend but we couldn't wait. 

We all filled up and tested the guns. Water sputtered out brown and filled with dirt. We kept filling out and emptying them until the water was crystal clear.  I suggest we make rules before everything turns to total chaos.

"Okay so first things first, no allies. Don't be running off and paring up, that shit is for babies. This is every man for themselves." Kellin said as we created a group circle. "Next and final thing, no hiding inside. Only in me and Kate's yards, got it?" We all nodded. 

"I should probably go get changed before we start." I said looking down at my white shirt and white shorts.

"No!" Justin yelled. I have him a look telling him that I was going to kick his ass and he cowered away.

I ran inside my house straight up to my room. I slipped on my black bikini hoping to distract the boys. I grabbed some shorts and slipped them on. I looked at my self in the mirror. My tinny frame never really gave me anything to show off but lately I had begun gaining weight in all the right places. For once I actually was happy with how my body looked. Realizing I was taking to long I ran back outside to find all the boys where in a circle shirtless. They where talking among them selves when I got there attention.

"You guys ready to get your ass kicked?" I said with a smirk. That was when I first saw my favorite face the boy's make. Their mouths hang open and their eyes go wide. It's there amazed face, and they all where wearing it. 

Suddenly feeling self-conscious about my self I wrapped my arms around my stomach. They all seemed to notice because they looked away except Kellin. He was still staring at me. I looked away trying to escape his gaze. He was next to me moments later grabbing my arms and pulling them away from my body. 

"What are you doing?" I asked with a nervous tint to my voice. He was staring me directly in the eye with a tight grip on my arms. 

"You shouldn't hide." He said still staring. That got me through body issues for the next few years, but eventually it didn't help. It came out of his mouth and everything that came out of his mouth was a lie. The magic of those words wore away causing them to just be a jumble of syllables, but right then and there they gave me the courage to keep my hands down after he let go.

We all got our guns and ran for hiding. I chose to climb the tree in my back yard; it gave me a high advantage point and a good view, but it's not like I needed to see where the boys where, their screams gave that away. Being pelted with ice-cold water gave away your position pretty fast. Their shrieks filled up the neighborhood, so did the laughter of the person pelting the shrieking boy. I was up in the tree laughing at the silly boys. That was until I was the one who was screaming. Kellin had found me and began emptying his container on me.

It was ice cold and stung my skin as soon as it touched, leaving behind little goose bumps as the clear liquid rolled down my freckled skin. It was like a breath of fresh air to my skin. Washing away any trace of the real world, in that moment I was a kid in a not so scary world. It was one of the last times I felt like a kid.

His container eventually ran out. He pulled the trigger laughing at me, then water stopped coming out. I jumped down from the tree spraying him as he ran away. I chased him around my house and into the back yard of his. From that moment on I would always be chasing Kellin Quinn.

He was screaming and I was laughing. All the boys had come out of their hissing spots to watch the show. My container was mostly on Kellin and it was slowly running out. When my last blast exited my gun it hit Kellin straight in the face. I dropped my gun and tried to regain my balance, I was laughing so hard it was physically hurting to laugh now. But those where the laughs I miss, the ones I want to feel again.

Kellin wiped the water from his face a looked at me. I stopped laughing and gave him a smirk. Gabe and Justin came out of nowhere with a stupid look on their faces face, Jack right behind them. Kellin ran in my direction and picked me up before I could run away. He wrapped his arms around my small waist and lifted my feet off of the ground. He swung me around so that I was blocking the water from getting him. He was using me as a shield. What an asshole.

"Kellin! Put me down!" I yelled over at the top of my lungs.

            "NEVER!" He yelled right back. He began running with me in his arms. He ran over to the side of my house losing the boys for just enough time to put me down and grab my hand to drag me. I followed him, I always followed him, but this time I followed him down the road. We where braking the rules but we didn't care. The boys had ditched their guns and where now right behind us. We where all heading to the same place, the one place I learned to call my home, the pond.

            Kellin and I running hand in hand down the hot asphalt. The crackly black surface burning our feet as we ran our hearts out. The small pebbles cutting and stabbing at our skin but we didn't care, we where free. We where us; the 6 kids together forever, or so we thought.

I let out a little laugh looking over the same pond. I could never forget that. Maybe that's why I tried so hard. Forgetting that means that it didn't mean much and that he didn't mean much, but he did. He meant everything.

"That's a good one." He said smiling next to me. "That would also have to be on my top ten." 

"It was good times." I said still smiling.

"It still could be." He said dropping his smile.

"You would have to still have a heart to have fun." I said losing my smile as well.

"And what happened to your heart?" He asked as if he didn't know.

That was my final straw. This pond was no longer home. It wasn't a safe place to go and clear my mind. It was just another place that was haunted with memories.

It was now full on down pour. We where soaked. Or at least I was, I didn't dare look at him. I got up to my feet and began walking, praying he wouldn't follow. Right before I disappeared into the woods gave him my answer.

"You broke it."