Going down

chapter 22

"Debra said that's she's coming along too! This is the time to make up with her Marcy and Hazz, she will definitely take you back and we can live the life we want!"

...A life without me

Louis' pov 

The car ride was really tense, I couldn't bring myself to look at any of the in fear that when they will actually look at me that they will finally realize their mistake of picking me instead of Debra. 

Harry, Marcel and Edward are all not talking either which makes it even worse, I do however notice that Marcel keeps looking at me. He also checked my seatbelt before Edward started the car which made my heart skip a bit and it gave me hope that maybe just maybe they will stay with me instead of going back to Debra. 

 Suddenly the car stops bringing me out of train of thoughts. We are standing in front of a rather big house and out of it walks Debra making my heart drop, I'm really not ready for this. I'm still out of it due to my horrible dream during my nap. Harry gets out of the passengers seat and gets in the back with Marcel and I. 

Marcel once again gives me a look as he scoots closer to me "Are you ok Lou?" I shrug cause I really don't know I lean my head against the window as Debra enters the car. 

"Hi Edward darling-" I hear a kissing sound and my heart aches slightly, I really hate this, it hurts. "Hi Marcy baby and Harry." Her overly sweet voice makes me feel sick to my stomach. Marcel and Harry don't respond to her making me look up slightly to see them glare at Debra with a bored and annoyed look. 

Debra's eyes turn to me and she rolls her eyes "So he's still not leaving you alone is he." Edward laughs at what Debra says while Harry and Marcel seem to get angry. "You know what fuck this! We are not doing this Edward! This was supposed to be a fun thing to do after Louis had a bad time and here you are ruining by taking that monster along! We don't like her and when are you gonna realize that that bitch doesn't fucking love you and isn't worth your time while someone right under your nose does fucking love you and is willing to do show you just how much he cares. Until you realize that don't fucking come back and stay with you stupid bitch ass girlfriend." 

I look at Marcel with wide eyes just as everyone else does, everyone in the car is shocked at Marcel's outburst seeing that Marcel is usually the calm one. 

Marcel makes Harry open the door and unbuckles our seat belts so we are out of the car before Edward or Debra can say anything. I had expected that Edward would get out as well to get us back in but no he just drives off leaving us here. 

"W-What was that Marcy?" I ask him looking at him in confusion, he smiles down at me in one of them soft caring smiles "it wasn't right Lou, I saw that it bothered and hurt you and I stood up for you because I care for you love." He gently brings his hand up to my cheek and gently brushes his thumb over my cheekbone. 

A blush takes over my face as I stare into his gentle and soft eyes "Can I kiss you Lou?" He whispers softly. My eyes widen slightly and my eyes flicker down to his soft looking lips before I nod softly. My eyes close as he leans closer to me and his soft lips touch mine.

The kiss is so soft and gentle, we move our lips together, this feeling is one that I never want to lose. My body feels weightless and tingly while my heart feels warm almost like it's getting hugged. 

Marcel pulls back and looks into my eyes again "Wow" I whisper softly making Marcel and Harry chuckle. "So now that you have kissed Louis... What are we gonna do now?" Marcel shrugs "I didn't think about that but I mean our mom does live close here so let's go there and maybe get her to drive us home after some I don't know coffee." 

Harry nods "that's a good idea. What do you say Louis? What to see our mom?" I nod slowly slightly scared that she will hate me. 

"Would she like me?" I ask looking from Harry to Marcel who both look at me with smiles "She will love you so much Lou, you are one of the best and kindest people I've ever met, who couldn't love you." 

The smile falls of my face because I know one person that can't nor won't love me ever. 

"Edward... he couldn't love me." I feel my eyes tear up and then I just break, sobs escape me. I know that it shouldn't get to me like this but I feel so safe when I'm around the three of them. They are the ones that showed me freedom, a life and love but Edward won't show me the last one in the way I would want and it hurts, it hurts so bad. it's like my heart shatters and the broken pieces stab into my chest. 

Even though I have Marcel and Harry it just doesn't feel right, It feels like something is missing but if Edward is genuinely and truly happy with Debra I will let go but I fear that I might have to let Marcel and Harry go too because I don't think that I can handle having this pain anymore. 

I'm being selfish I know. 

It's short I'm sorry but It's late. 

~~~Renée