Going down

chapter 23

Even though I have Marcel and Harry it just doesn't feel right, It feels like something is missing but if Edward is genuinely and truly happy with Debra I will let go but I fear that I might have to let Marcel and Harry go too because I don't think that I can handle having this pain anymore.

I'm being selfish I know.

Edward's pov

I can't believe that Marcel said that and that they actually got out of the car. What are they thinking, we have someone that will love us and yet they choose someone who is not her. Debra might have hurt us in the past but it's nothing that we didn't deserve.

I look at Debra for a second while we are standing at a red light, she has a weird smile on her face for some reason "Why are you smiling Deb?" Debra chuckles "They are being dumb idiots, that bitch will never love them like I would. No one could even love you like I could you know that right Eddie? You need me, without me you will be unloved forever."

My heart aches as she says that, I nod "I know Deb, I love you." Debra chuckles again "I know." I can't help but frown at her words, she almost never says it back... well actually just never but she's just not expressive like that I guess.

I look back at the road to hide my frown from Debra "Are will still going out to dinner? Because I'm hungry we better go somewhere I like though." I bite my lip and start driving to where I know Debra will like it, even though it doesn't feel right to leave my brothers and Louis behind.

"Ok Deb we are here love." I say as I park the car, Debra looks out of the window and huffs "What the fuck Edward, I don't like this place anymore after they put ice in my water last time. Are you really that fucking stupid huh? Useless idiot." Her words are like stabs to my heart.

I look down at my lap as I feel tears stinging in my eyes, I know that she will get even angrier if I cry and I want to keep her happy. If I don't she will leave me and she is the only one that will ever love me, she's the only one that can put up with me.

"I'm sorry Debra, I really am sorry for being a stupid idiot. Please don't leave me I will try and do better." She huffs again "You better do better because I will leave your stupid ass and you will be alone forever, you stupid unlovable idiot."

I have to close my eyes to keep my tears from falling "You know what let's just go to my house and you will just have to order me food, Ok Eddie?" My heart feels lighter as she calls me Eddie again because it means that she's not mad anymore and that she loves me again.

"Ok Deb let's do that." I start driving to her house again in the hope that I can keep her happy this way.

I sit in Debra her guest bedroom because I once again disappointed her again, she wanted to sleep with me but I just couldn't get hard, something just felt off and I don't understand it. It's like something inside me is protesting which I don't understand... Debra is all I can get, she is the only who will love me besides my brothers.

My thoughts start shifting to Louis, what if he could actually love me... Could it be possible? Does he love Harry and Marcel? They do seem happy with him, they never seemed that happy with Debra, so could it be actually real?

But who says that if he loves Marcel and Harry that he will love me...

I start going back to when I first saw Louis, he was so scared but he was so cute like there was absolutely no evil in him. He was scared that we would hurt him so scared but yet he started to trust us... He even agreed to live with us and started to get comfortable with us an eventually fell in love with Marcel and Harry. So he would not hurt them right or play with them just to break their hearts?

I shake my head and grab my phone opening it for the first time this evening. I notice a text from Harry, I click on it to open it and tears slowly fall from my eyes as I read the text.

Harry <3 :

Eddie love, I know that you're scared. Debra is what you know and she talked you into believing that she is the only one who would love you but it's a lie. You Edward are amazing and worthy of love, your heart is pure and doesn't deserve to be hurt by being with Debra just because she manipulated you into thinking that you only have her.

But you have us Eddie, we love you, we care about you, we want you home with us where we know that you're safe and not being hurt because Debra hurts you believe it or not. I know how much her words hurt, I know how much it hurts when you get told that you aren't worthy of love. But you are, you are worth so much.

I know that you deep down feel the same about Louis and he loves you Eddie he really does please think about it and when you are ready to follow your heart please come home because we miss you. <3

We love you, Harry, Marcel and Louis.

I hadn't noticed that the door opened and that Debra had walked in as I was lost in my soft sobbing at Harry's text. I didn't notice it until she grabbed the phone out of my hands, I look up at her in horror as she starts reading the texted.

Debra rolls her eyes and let's out a sadistic laugh and looks right at me "You can't possibly believe this right? Someone loving you, the stupid, ugly, dumb idiot? You are unlovable Edward. No one could ever love you! You should be thankful that I stay with you and love you because no one else can! Remember that! Be thankful that I love your sorry ass." She says in words laced with venom while poking her finger in my chest.

Tears steam down my face as I nod "T-thank you for loving me, please don't leave."

I hope that this explains more about Edward :)

~~~Renée