Conniveo

Chapter 3I: Overture

"You know, you never answered my question."

"I did. I told you it didn't matter."

"Kana, I just sat in your closet for twenty minutes and waited for you. Sure, I did it just see the look on your face, but I didn't feel claustrophobic for one second," Eugene replied. "Because whenever you're around me, I feel like a different person. I feel like I can do anything and I can't think straight. I'm not even sure I want to think straight..."

"Eugene, I don't know what you're trying to say but I-"

"I'm never this honest with my feelings. But you are, and it's one of the many things about you that just gets to me. I always thought...I thought there'll never be a way for this to work. And maybe you did too. But now, after the fucking miracle we just got through, I don't want to think about what should and shouldn't be. I just want think about what is. That's why I came back. I wanted to know if there's a chance, any chance at all, that we could be what just...is."

"Eugene, I'm set to be married in a few days-"

"And I know you don't want to marry him. Nobody calls their fiancé an 'inconsiderate elitist' out of love."

"There's more to marriage than love. Besides, you and Koli are..."

Kana's voice trailed off and she looked pensive. She walked backwards to the bed and sat on it. Eugene initially looked confused at her statement, but then his face glazed over in realization what she meant. He looked like he was going to explain himself but Kana raised her hand to cut him off.

"Three days...you were here for at least three days and you never talked to her. I know this because she told me that she had not been in contact with anyone besides me. Why did it take you so long to speak to me?"

"I...I didn't know if there was a point. For three days, I just sat and wondered if I was reading too much into a facial expression - from the way you looked at me after Diella finished her story. A part of me thought it didn't mean anything, but then there was this other part - and I think it was really just Greg's voice - that kept telling me over and over: 'you're clueless, Yuje. You're always clueless'. After I saw the news, I realized time was running out and things were definitely going to change after we got released. So I acted. I guess I was more afraid of your response than anything else. Because if you said 'no' and I risked it all for nothing, I didn't know if I could take it."

"But Koli is...I saw you kiss her and..."

"It meant nothing, Kana. We're friends, nothing more. See, I've even kissed Greg too," he said with a slight smile.

There was a tense silence as they stared at each other. Eugene sighed out loud.

"Maybe I really am clueless. Maybe this was all just some stupid fantasy that played out in my head. But I always hoped we could be more than two different people who have the same room in different phases."

"But we are different. I have a different life here, things that are expected of me. I'll admit, I might have formed some positive emotions for you but I...I cannot just-"

"We can make a million excuses for why we should do the things we do, but in the end we are the ones who decide on what we should and shouldn't do. I don't care what people expect you to do. I only want to know what you want to do. I guess what I'm really asking is...will you follow your 'boring, normal routines' that everyone decides for you? Or would you take this chance with me?"

A low musical score began to play in the background as Eugene observed Kana's reaction. She looked at him, with a sullen, doubtful expression. As the tune approached its crescendo, a smile slowly formed on her face.