LOVING SOMETHING WITH A DEADLINE is the most painful thing in the world.
Watching Dad and Mom fall apart. Watching terminally ill people try to leave a big enough footprint in the sand such that it won't be swept away by the tides of time. Watching Suki and her parents pack down the only house she's ever lived in and kissing her in the interim.
Niko and Haru understand why I'm around so much these days. I think I wrote them off as cold and clinical too early. They're actually really understanding, they just aren't touchy-feely about it. I don't go to school at all while Suki's still here. Dad gave me shit about it the first three days, till I blurted out the truth and started crying in front of him.
So, he's more understanding than I thought, too.
All I try to do is memorise.
I memorise while Suki sends boxes of her clothes away, and while we heft furniture into the moving containers that'll be transported to Ranscher. I memorise when Suki and I make homemade lemonade, apple juice, peach juice, cantaloupe juice—to use up all the perishable fruit they have—in the kitchen. I memorise every second of every day that I have until the deadline.
It's like I've got a final, and Suki is the subject. I want my head to be full of her, I want to plaster my consciousness with pictures of her smell, a detailed description of her plum, soap and lotion scent, the way her voice holds both the windy mountains and the rustling forest. I want it to feel like she never left.
That's impossible, of course.
She did leave.
The Monday after Suki flies out to Washington, I wrench Brittany's empty hand around in the hallway. Her other hand is tucked into the back pocket of her latest jock conquest.
"You," I snap, jerking her clean out of his arms.
"Me?" She bats her eyelashes innocently. "What now, Terry?"
"Hey, fuckwit," her plaything says, walking slowly towards me. "Howse about you leave my girl alone?"
"Oh, you're Britt's new side dick." I smirk. "Nice. Enjoy it while it lasts."
The dude makes some noise like a charging bull, nostrils flared, and then I'm pinned against the lockers. Brittany stifles a laugh. Why do people lose their temper so easily? That's a recipe for disaster.
"What did you say to me?" he grits out threateningly.
"I said you're temporary—"
I watch his fist draw back and time the impact, jerking my head to the side. The place my face was gives way to navy tin. A sickening crunch, accompanied by clanging metal, sounds by right my ear when he smashes his fist against it.
"Ow!" His grip on me loosens. "Fuck!" I step neatly around him, appearing at Brittany's side again.
"Babe," she says with faux-concern. "You should really get that looked at. Go to the nurse's office. I'll take care of this."
"But—"
"Nurse's office. Now," she commands sweetly. "Please."
Dude cradles his hand gingerly, giving me a death stare. I keep my face carefully blank. No use provoking him again. Brittany's plaything wraps his uninjured hand around her face and sucks her mouth for five disgusting seconds. He hocks a loogie to the side and wipes his lips. "See you later, babe."
How does she manage to pull the most revolting upperclassmen possible?
Brittany smiles at me when her boy toy is out of earshot. "Well, that was entertaining."
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Worth the Trouble ✓
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