Worth the Trouble ✓

16 | this future of ours

"NO. YOU DON'T MEAN IT."

Suki and I lie under the covers, clothed and cuddled against each other. I just shared the news with her that I was hired at the cinema, and everything after. I want to be there for our new family, and I know one day I'm putting a ring on her finger. My heart was hammering in my chest as I said the words aloud, and even now, holding her makes my breath weak.

"I do." I brush a strand of her black hair away from her face. Her lips stretch into a tentative smile.

"You don't," Suki insists, shaking her head.

"I do."

"You don't." Her smile grows despite her disbelief. "Is this a prank?"

It must have given her whiplash, my change of mind. I was adamant one day that I could never live up to anyone's expectations of a good father, and the next suddenly I had no choice. I had to do this. Suki needed someone to support her. If it wasn't me, it would be Brittany—the most untrustworthy, vindictive person I've ever had the displeasure of meeting.

So it has to be me.

"I've pulled a lot of pranks before. But this would be my most drastic yet if I got a job and learned to drive as part of it. Also, my most cruel."

"Then you're drastic and cruel."

Laughter bubbles from my lips. Suki chuckles lightly in response, curling her arm tighter around my waist. My bedroom is quiet save for our breathing and the gentle rain outside. We lie still for several moments before I place a soft kiss on her forehead, the rustling of fabric still too loud for this bubble of peace.

"I know you think we've got an expiration date because I said I didn't want to be a father, and you've always wanted to be a mother. But it doesn't have to go that way now."

We don't have to drift apart. She doesn't have to keep any more secrets from me. I can be the person she relies on for everything. And she and I can stay together.

She sighs, burying her face into my chest. "Mm."

"I'm not going to wise up in a week, but I know it'll happen eventually. If you just stick with me."

"Of course I will." Suki pulls away to skewer me with that beautiful, determined expression of hers. "Of course I will. I could never go anywhere."

"Tell me the next time you feel lonely. Or anxious. Or gassy. I want to know it all."

"Alright," she agrees mirthfully, hunting for something at all to tell me. She settles on, "I got a job interview at Lucy's. If I get the job, it'll be just in time for Black Friday sales. Joy."

"You will get the job."

"But will I keep it? That's the question. Soon I won't be able to hide the bump. A teen mom is not the image they're trying to portray."

I finally noticed the bump, a few days ago. Suki insists that she's been showing for two weeks, but I thought her stomach was hardly rounder than it was after a large meal. Food bloating doesn't count as a baby bump.

But now both of us agree: it's undeniable. A small, round little thing. It feels entirely odd underneath my palm, much firmer than any other part of her soft body. And it's always warm. As Carsonville plummets deeper into winter, I find myself breathing on and furiously rubbing my hands together before I touch Suki.

"You'd be the hottest teen mom to ever grace their floors. Besides, your plan is to quit after the holidays, right? Start taking it easy into the third trimester?"

She's in the second trimester now, but I've started thinking ahead. She's going to have to stop working at some point, maybe even take time off from school. At some point, we'll have to tell our parents. They'll rain hell on us, but we'll survive. At another point, the school will find out. They'll also rain hell on us, but I don't know how Suki will take it.