Money can't please her in bed

Chapter 5

The following morning was just as redundant as the ones before. I got up stretched, turn around, and saw an empty space where Paul is supposed to be. Life really changed. Back then when we were young adults, Paul used to beg me to come to visit him at his parent's house. He would frown when I didn't want to come over and have lunch with him at work. As soon as he left work in those days, I was sure to see him waiting on me under the star apple tree down the lane.

Now Paul barely even calls me by my name. It’s always 'that woman' or 'old woman'. I have become just a placeholder to Paul now. Someone to keep fresh breath blowing in his house.

I needed to get my head back on track. I walked to the balcony with some fruits and place them on the table. I watched as the leaves on the east Indian mango tree danced in the wind. It looked like rain was about to fall. I lay on the comforting veranda long chair and enjoy the scenery. If only Paul knew how beautiful our home was, he would stay home some more. The more I think is the more I feel like a lonely old widow.

If I knew this was how Paul wanted me to live, I would have taken the offer from my aunt in England. She had asked me to come live with her when she retired from her job as a social worker. Around that time Paul asked me to marry him right under that same star apple tree down the road. It was a bittersweet moment because even though I was happy he saw me as his wife, I always dreamed of living in England with aunt Patty. She was very rich and like me, she did not have any children. My aunt died 10 years after and left all her wealth to some children in an orphanage. I would be rich by now and wouldn't want Paul's money.

My father did not speak to me for years because of that. He thought I was naive and foolish. Dada would say, "Darla you are throwing away your luck for miss pansy big foot boy". I use to get upset at daddy for talking bad about Paul but I would later laugh at the humor because Paul really has some big feet. When we were about to get married, he had to ask a family in the states to buy shoes and ship them to Jamaica for him because there was no size in the local stores here to fit him.

I remember the first time Paul kissed me. He had a frightened shy look in his eyes just like Kevin did when he kissed me. Why did Kevin kiss me though? I am an old woman. I can't please him in bed. My breasts are getting saggy, and gravity is running away from my body more and more each day. If I look closely at my image in the mirror, I could see wrinkles in my facial lining. I think I need to talk to Kevin, but he was making no effort to see me since the incident yesterday.

I got up and walked down the stairs of the balcony that led to the side of the house. Paul said he built it like this because he wanted to be spontaneous and surprise me up here sometimes. He had not done a thing spontaneous since he built it.

I saw Kevin grooming a Bogan Villa flower near the cottage. He looked up and pretended not to see me. I walked briskly towards him and waved when he held up his head again. He half smiled and continued his trimming.

When I got closer to him, I called out to him, but he pretended to not hear me. Or perhaps he didn't because he had a pair of black earphones plugged inside his ears.

I chuckled, "This young boy made a pass at an old horny woman like me and expected me to disappear and forget about it."

"Hello, Kevin!" I said as I got closer to him

"I thought I told you to come for breakfast every morning before you start working?"
Kevin glanced at me and quickly remove his eyes.

"I am not hungry Mrs. Clarke. Mi granny give me some porridge".I laughed.

I knew he was lying. He did not come because he was embarrassed and was doing everything possible to avoid me.

"So Kevin, how long can porridge hold up a strong young man like you?"

He stopped working and hang his head down.

"Truth is Mrs. Clarke, I made a terrible mistake yesterday and I do not want to lose my job. My granny is depending on me."

I used my hand to lift his face and placed my finger on his lips.
"Ssshhh"

"Paul can never know about that Kevin"
"It is our little secret.”
"From now on, please come for your meals in the kitchen. I enjoy having you around, makes the place less lonely.”
Kevin smiled at me.

"Okay, Mrs. Clarke but I think I should keep my distance"
"No! I insist, now put the tools down and follow me"

Kevin obeyed and walked cowardly behind me.