Money can't please her in bed

Chapter 24

Memories, good and bad of my marriage with Paul flashed through my mind as a drove away from Mr. Bradshaws office. I would have stopped breathing

if Paul asked me to. That was how much I dedicated myself to this marriage.

Was I making a mistake when I signed those divorce papers? I contemplated.

I know there were no guarantees, in love we must take chances, but it all seems so unfair to me that I was so faithful to Paul, and he did that to me.

Marys words replay in my head.

Yuh ago left that deh big house and so much money just so give young gyal?"

I must admit, it stung me. That house became my baby when Paul refused to have children with me. I found great passion in taking care of this house. All Paul cared about was gaining more and more money. He had stopped making love to me with his manhood and started showering me with money and material things. If I complain I get money, if he's late I get money, everything about our

relationship had become centered around money. He made me develop such a hate for money.

I kept the house clean and took great pride into its appearance. This is one of the reasons I must let go of this marriage. If I stay, then Ill grow to hate my baby. I didnt want that; I want to cherish the moments I spend loving my baby.

A part of me wants to stay with Paul, but a part of me is too embarrassed to stay especially knowing that I have told Mary about it, who knows to who she has already babbled it to? Ill be seen as a bigger fool than they already think I am. I just want to run away from this place.

I felt so stupid for running into the arms of Kevin. I used him, well we used each other but still, it doesnt feel right deep down inside. More reasons

why I feel so guilty for being so mad at Paul because I too had an affair, well mine was as a result of his but that wasnt any excuse, I betrayed our marriage too.

Which is worst? An affair with no strings attached or one with strings attached? I mumbled to myself as I look through the window of my van at the busy street.

Sometimes I wish I had weighed my options and another time I try to understand that this is life and experience teaches wisdom. I worry that Ill never get married again or Ill never get to experience being loved by a great man.

My heart was full and lately, I found it hard to control my heartbeats. A voice inside me whispered that it will all get better in time but sometimes I dont trust it because it was that same voice who told me to marry Paul years ago.