You and I? Impossible

Hermione

I thought this year would have been better:
I was hoping we could have a truce.

What a nonsense.

The spark between Cedric and I burst the first time we met.
I still remember his proposal on the last day of school.

Everything was perfect, he and I were happier than ever.
It seemed a fairy tale, those found in books for muggles, each one with the happy end.
That I did not have.

Our hands will not be ever twisted. For the guilt of that damned ring,
he is not here, next to me, ready to dispense his smiles.

All caused by that small object.

I do not know what's happening: I keep fainting, I lose control of the arts and a tierant pain tortures my mind.

I've been looking for anywhere, even in the forbidden section; nothing of nothing.

With great force of willing I will be able to maneuver it for some time, but not forever.

Harry?
No, I can not continue to lie to myself and playing with his
feelings.

I think I feel something for him, something different from friendship. Something uncontrollable.

I have realized that day at the Shrieking Shack: nothing will be the same anymore.

And as far as I try to deny it
the thought of him flourishes every day.
I can not do this at Cedric.
I have to avoid it.
I have to.

Every time I look at it
him since then I feel something pulling out my body, as if someone throw a bucket of hot water on it .
It burns me, but I keep resisting.
Not for a long time.

Every night I have the same nightmare: him,lying on my legs, without life, with milky and absent eyes, I scream loudly, scratching my throat and then the Dark Lord appears, smiles and sneers;
I start to chase him, screaming against him, arriving in front of the defense against the dark arts class and fall into a somber vortex.

I only hear his slimy voice saying that: - Merry death. -

This sentence racks me every morning,during the lessons, the breaks, while studying.

It's a message. An omen.

And if my illness is connected to everything?
And if I am.... leaving this world?

I want to solve this alone.
Dumbledore has too many troubles and ... I'm not going to talk to Harry, even if the world ends tomorrow.

If I told it to Ronald and Ginny they would talk immediately with Harry, then telling it to Dumbledore.

The only person I can say it is Kaytlyn.

I did not behave well, indeed,we did not behave well with her.

I thought that not writing to her to leave her in peace would be the right choice, nevertheless we left her alone, affixed by a thousand problems.

On the contrary she did not hesitate to write to me and console me immediately.

The too many worries are bothering me.
I'm constantly afraid, for me and for others.

I just know that that bastard will pay for everything he did;
he killed stone-cold hundreds and hundreds of  wizards , destroyed Harry's life.

He cannot face this: he's just a 15-year-old boy, damn.

Now the situation is too complex: We do not know what to do, who to seek, how to slow down his rise.

Even Dumbledore, he does not seem more stable, he also seems wandering in the dark.
There is no plan.

He could stick at any time and we cannot do anything to stop it.

I'm starting to fear the future.
If only we could change what happened ...

————————————————————————

Hermione carefully paid attention to the lessons, never letting herself to distract, or almost.

She sticked with Ginny.
All day long.

She felt as if she was using her, but it was the only person who at that moment did not create concerns, indeed; she was always so jovial and frank with her.

From time to time she turned to look at Harry, who, as answer responded watching her, lost and mest.

Immediately she turned back looking at the whiteboard, trying to silent her heartbeat, signed.

"Enough"

- Hey, don't you come for lunch? -  - Uhm pardon , I do not feel very well, I'll go back to my room.-

Ginny nodded and greeted her quickly.

Her fast steps echoed on the stairs.

She took care of the door, accompanying it slowly.

She accommodated on her velvet armchair before the writing desk. She made a deep breath, with her hands stroking her hair.

She sank the pen in the blue ink that had bought Hogsmead for the great occasions and slides it on the rough parchment:

Dear Kaytlyn,
l'm sorry.
I thought that writing to you would have worsened things.
But is there really something worse than what is happening?
Please excuse me, indeed, excuse us.
You have to promise me what I'm about to tell you will remain between us; I start to be worried because I have no answers.
I think I'm sick: a few days ago I fainted, it seemed to me that the world vorted around me and made my head hurt, as if someone or something was hitting me repeatedly.
I lose control of myself, my mood mutates and I do not understand what it could be.
I even boat in the forbidden section: I did not find anything, and this is making my anxiety increase.
I know I should not complain,
I just know you are living a hell;
I hope that when you come back you will have the courage needed to tell me what happened.
Although we are away miles and miles I am always with you, if you want it or not;)
I hope you know how much you and your aura are indispensable for me. Last thing, perhaps the most important: I took part in a private interview with Harry and Dumbledore; you were right.
He came here. For my ring.
Cedric had gave it to me for our engagement, we had bought it at Hogsmead. I do not know how it is possible but that is of his property.
I really need to see you, please come back soon.
Oh,there is another thing: I think, I think I feel something for, for someone you know very well.
It's all so strange and confused, I have no answers, for nothing. Please, try to stay away from trouble.
Your best friend, Hermione.

Just in time to seal the letter and then noticed that she was not alone: Harry was on the ground, gazing her silently.

The most she tried to avoid him, the most he oppressed her.

- Can we talk?-
-Sorry, I'm busy.-

For a fraction of second their glances collided;
she immediately lowered the head, and with a couple of strides she left room, giving him a shoulder.

"Ouch" thought Harry.

He could not handle the situation anymore.

He had to talk to her,
at all costs.