Learning to Cope

Ch2 Page 7

August:

This shower has jets and the showerhead is on the ceiling, there's so much room that you really don't need. It is nice to not have to duck under the shower head though. The water is really colorful as it runs down my body.

I really liked being that close to Andrew, it was comforting. I have a full view of myself from the mirror, it's unpleasant, to say the least. The shower door is super clear, it's almost like there isn't a barrier there. I look gross.

Is that what other people see when they look at me? Not the naked bits but my stature. I look like a stalk of celery grew legs. Ugh. I turn around so I don't have to see myself anymore, I'm sure it's not good for my mental health.

When I step out of the shower, the bathmat is very soft and plush. I grab one of the many neatly folded towels and wrap it around my waist. I looked in the mirror again. I don't want him to see me like this, I look like shit.

I open the bathroom door and poke my head out. Andrew is sitting on the bed watching a movie or something on the projector, he doesn't even have a screen for it, it just takes up so much of the wall. "Hey." I reach my hand out trying to keep most of my body hidden behind the door. He looks over and smiles "You should slick your hair back more often, I like to see your eyes for a change." He walks over with a clothing bag. "I had to dig for this one but it should fit you." "Thanks" I shut the door. He couldn't see me but I felt so exposed.

I hang the garment bag on a hook on the back of the door and unzip it. "A suit?" and there are some shoes at the bottom of the bag too. It's white and blue. It looks like it has never been worn before. "Are you sure I should wear this?" I shout through the door. "I'm positive, let me know if anything doesn't fit." I cautiously take it off the hook, it feels expensive. The undershirt feels almost like rough silk.

I finish putting on the suit, the undershirt is a bit snug but the jacket disguises it well. I feel gross, I hate wearing suits. I look like a homeless man in a suit. I just don't belong.

I step out of the bathroom and Andrew whistles "Damn! That looks really good on you." He hollers. "I feel like a corrupt government official." "I'd give you government power." He looks me up and down several times. "It's my turn!" He throws himself out of bed and runs into the bathroom. "Have fun."

I sigh and sit on the couch. I can hear the shower turn on, as well as some music. He was watching that dumb show again, why are they so mean to that girl? She looks fine.

He's singing along with his music. it's impossible not to hear him, he's belting it out. His voice is nice, whether he's talking or singing, it's like music.