my Daddy

1. My Life

Hi I'm Gabriellallian and I really don't like my life but the only people that make it better are my mother Mandi who works really hard to even let running water come to the house and my younger  brother Petian who I love a lot me and him are specially close because we love to have Adventures and play lots of games in the basement we have a really small house it's more of a shack and on the outside it looks small and unsturdy and looks like it would easily fall but on the inside it's really rough and hard.( I know it due to experience.) My mother got raped by my father at the age of 14 and she gave birth to me at 15. I don't think my father likes us at all his name is Arthur maybe only a mere 2% but only because me and my mom would bring money home from our work and buy him beer and food, while he just sat on a chair and bossed people around AND STARVED US!. He likes to abuse us a WHOLE LOT I think he especially hates me because he did want me to be here he waned my mom to abort me but she refused and that's when all hell broke losses, and my mom had to endure all the pain and beatings from him, and now I'm alive and breathing...but most of the time I wished I wasn't I think the grave would be better, just going into a forever slumber.

Flashback from this morning

I ran as fast as my two little legs could run, run, run, run just get away is all my brain could process my younger brother was thankfully in his happy place...the basement playing with Kian his imagery friend. SMASH went the beer bottle as it fell to the floor and broke into a bazillion piece's, and I guess I wasn't looking cuz I tripped over an empty bottle and feel with a thump. OWWWWWWWWWIEEEEE i screamed as I fell onto the pieces of glass and they went up inside my right leg and it hurt like a bitch 'OWIEEE OWIEEE OWIEEE OWIEEE SHUT THE FUCK UP U DUMB SUPID BITCH!! OR ELSE U'LL GET A BETTER DESERVED BEATEN U FAT PIG'!! He yelled at me I stayed quiet as I knew if I said anything or even looked at him he would actually beat me more, I didn't know if I actually deserved it or not but...I guess I did as I was a dumb fat pig. He then grabbed a fistful of my hair which made me gritted my teeth trying to not make a sound and make him even more angrier . he then slapped me on my left cheeck really hard which made me yelp he then kicked at my injured leg which made my knees buckle and I feel which made me cry even Harder now, he kicked me 7 more times in the abdomen and punched my right eye twice and my left cheeck. I huddled into a tiny ball trying to cover my important organs/body parts. He then lifted his foot and stepped (or stomped) on my side OWWWW WAAAAAA i was in SOOOOO much pain now and I know he would leave lots of bruises. I laid there just...laying and doing nothing then I slowly got up and covered my mouth trying to scuffle out my noises. and I tiptoed to the bathroom which was door close to my room. I then removed my clothes and stared at my naked pale body. It looked like a painter had splashed different colors onto the canvas, and those paints REALLY HURT, I then went and took the blade that I his in a lose floor board inside the ground. In that losses floor board I had a small compact that barely had any blush and a medium size make up kit I got for my 11 birthday by 1 of my classmates for secret Santa, I also had a blade and a few pocket change and money in total I had $22.57 for emergencies. ⛔ I took the blade and put it against my wrist I took a deep death then sliced my wrist I sliced it 1 more time and watched as The blood dripped, it was relieving like a weight lifted off my chest and I looked at my arm I had more than 16 cuts on my left arm mostly fresh a few dry ones and put the blade in my other had and sliced 3 cuts in my right. I have about 18 cuts on my right arm most of which were also new. I watched my blood stained arms and let some blood drip out, I then I took a wipe and I dabbed it against my wounds it stinged a lot but it felt good at the same time. But I still felt like it want enough so I went down to my inner thighs and put the blade up against it and put 1 on my right thigh and 3 on my left it hurt a lot but now I felt more satisfied I had about 12 on my left thigh, and 15 on my right. I took a new clean wipe from my Princess Belle wipe case and dabbed it on my thigh. I felt wayyyyy better now and I felt like I got what I deserved. ⛔  I then went into the pretty dirty shower and took a cold bath. I made sure to not scrub to hard but a little to look clean enough. I then got out dried myself and put some motion. I looked at myself in the mirror, I was short like REALLY, REALLY, REALLY short around 5'0 or 4'12 I didn't quite remember and I was really skinny about 72 pounds and I had small C cup boobs or u could call it big B cup boobs but I didn't like the word big so I used small instead. My breasts were tender and soft my aureola wasn't really that big I had small-ish nipples but enough that u can see it thru a shirt. And I was mixed, my mom was Haitian and Cuban while my dad was fully White. I had thick curly hair to my shoulders I dyed it a little even tho I got a beaten for that I had light brown eyes and pink phat lips and I had a dimple on my right check and natural long eye lashes. I knee that I looked ugly why well because my father tells me that every single day and my classmates..well bullies. I then put the towel wrapped around my body and put my head rogue door trying to hear any noises. I heard none so I slowly opened the door and tip toed into room which was only s dew steps away I closed the door carefully and put in a underwear and a dress. As I didn't have many bras and I mostly used them for school.
I dressed and I went to  ring my younger brother for a nap with me as it was getting a little late I know he was gonna say he's hungry so I might have to go steal from the fridge or eat some McDonald's salt, Pepper, BBQ, or Ketch, Mustard packets that we stole when we get water there every morning.

To be continued
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