What Love Sounds Like | TayNew AU

Part 3

NEW's POV

I spent the entire night in bed tossing and turning, unable to sleep without Tay's warm body beside me. I tried texting and calling him but was unable, so I spent the rest of the night worrying and imagining the worst-case scenarios.

I assumed Tay would be thrilled at the possibility of us starting our own family. Maybe I misunderstood him, maybe he doesn't want a baby, maybe he no longer loves me.

I lay awake for hours in our bed, clutching Tay's pillow and inhaling his comforting scent. Morning sickness, in the end, was what dragged me out of bed at five a.m. I let out a proper sob as I emptied my stomach in the toilet bowl, my knuckles white with the force I was using to keep hold of it. While I sat back on my legs after two episodes of vomiting, all I could do was wish my husband was here to take care of me, to brush my hair away from my eyes and press a cool cloth to my face, or to hold me on the bathroom floor and press sweet kisses to my sweaty hair.

After an hour, the nausea had subsided enough for me to get up and get ready for the day at work. I prayed I didn't have to go for the first time in my life, but I convinced myself it would be a good distraction as I dressed and forced myself to eat a dry piece of toast before leaving.

Unfortunately, the hours seemed to drag on, and I was just relieved that it was finally the weekend as I let the last of my young kids out of the classroom after the last bell rang. As I drove back to my house, I switched off the radio and indulged in self-pity. I held my breath as I rounded the corner onto our street, hoping to see Tay's car waiting for me in the driveway.

It wasn't. That's when I realized how terrible his actions were, my despair turned to rage.

With Tay still not answering my calls or texts, I decided to call his mom to see if she knew what was going on. She picked up on the third ring, and I can tell by the tone of her voice that she at least knew part of the story.

"What happened, New?" she immediately asked and I scoffed at her accusing tone. "Tay got here in tears late last night and refused to leave his old room all day. He even refused to go to work."

"What's happening is that your son is acting like an asshole," I said bitterly, letting out all the rage I'd been holding in since last night. "I told him he was going to be a father, and he stormed out on me... jerk!"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted doing so, and the hitch in my mother-in-law's breath helped me to relax a little.

"You're pregnant," she said, and although she couldn't see me over the phone, I nodded.

"I'm sorry..." I said sheepishly before my voice rose in anger as I remembered how Tay had abandoned me at such an important moment. "But I am, so can you please talk some sense into your grown-ass son and send him back home?"

"His dad did the exact same thing when he found out I was pregnant with Muk," she said, letting out a sigh. "The Vihokratana men are stubborn, New, but I'll try my best... I promise," she said before hanging up.

~*~*~*~

Although I was far from hungry, I forced myself to eat for the sake of the baby. When I heard the front door open, I was sitting at the dining table, just finishing up some leftovers. I rushed out of my chair and stormed to the front door, standing in front of Tay and sending him daggers with my eyes.

"What the fuck, Tay?"  I said. "Would you mind explaining why you left me after I told you I was pregnant for fuck's sake?"

As he shrugged off his coat and turned back to face me, Tay appeared sad and exhausted. "I'm sorry".

My blood boiled as I glared at him. "Sorry doesn't cut it, Tay! what you did really hurt me!"

As we both made our way to the living room, sitting as far away as possible from each other on our couch, he gave me puppy eyes, and I tried hard not to melt.

"I'm sorry,"  he started signing. "And I know that's not nearly enough, but I really am, New. You need to understand that I never meant to hurt you."

"Well, you did!"

He took a deep breath before continuing. "I deserve your anger. I know what I did was wrong. I was just so scared, New... I still am really."

My expression softened slightly at his words, and I waited anxiously for him to explain further.

"I'm deaf, New," he said flatly, and the obvious pain on his face hurt me to the core.

"I know that Tay..."

"I'm deaf, how will I ever be a good parent?" Tay asked, shattering my heart into a million pieces. "I won't be able to hear them cry when they need their diaper changed or when they're hungry; I won't be able to hear them scream when they get hurt in the garden; I won't be able to hear their first word or hear them laugh."

As I drew closer to him, I felt an overpowering need to hold and protect him from all evil in the world.

"Tay, love, you're going to be the best dad ever. Those things don't matter one bit. We'll find ways to make it work, yeah? I just know you're going to be such a great parent, love. You're so caring and gentle. This baby is going to love you so much,"  I said, grabbing one of his hands and pressing it against my flat belly. "And you'll still get to see them take their first steps, and see them smile and play outside. You'll get to teach them how to bake and cook, and how to be kind and amazing like you."

I paused and reached over to wipe a few tears from his cheeks. "I just wish you'd talk to me, Tay. Leaving like this is not an option anymore. This is a baby we're talking about, love. I need you, I can't do this on my own."

I smiled as Tay ran his thumb over the fabric of my shirt before removing his hand.

"I know. I'm really sorry, Hin,"  he said with a slight grimace. "That was a shit move on my part. I'm sorry, love. I'm here now, I swear. I love you and I love this baby so much already. I'm just so scared of messing it all up."

"Just talk to me, yeah? Instead of leaving me alone wondering what the hell is happening,"  I said gently before leaning in to engulf him into a hug.

"I promise I'll do better. I love you... both of you."

~*~*~*~

A/N
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