Black Out Days // P. Lahote

three

Cassandra woke up to soft voices in the hall. For a moment, she forgot where she was and panicked. Her hand curled around the edge of the quilt wrapped around her and she inhaled deeply. Pine. Rain. Peace.

She slid out of bed and grabbed a sweatshirt from her duffle bag. The Washington weather had dropped overnight into the forties and she was used to Texas weather. A tremor ran through her shoulders as she headed towards the bathroom.

After peeing, brushing her teeth, and pulling her hair back into a ponytail, Cassandra made her way to the kitchen where Emily and Kim were cooking.

"Good morning," Kim chirped. "The boys went out for a run but they'll be back soon. Sam called Billy this morning and got you an appointment with Sue at the rez clinic, off the books, at eleven."

"I hope you like pancakes," Emily added. "Grab some food before the boys get back."

Cassandra opened her mouth to thank her and offer her help but Emily waved the spatula in her hand as a warning. Cassandra smirked and sat down at the table, grabbing two pancakes, some bacon, and a handful of strawberries.

"Orange juice. I would offer coffee but we don't have decaf," Emily explained as she set the glass next to her.

"I think this is the greatest pancake I've ever had in my life."

Emily grinned and turned back to the stove to flip some more. The front door swung open and Sam bounded in, making a beeline for Emily. Jared followed quickly behind, a dopey grin on his face as Kim met him halfway.

Cassandra glanced away from the happy couples, the orange juice tasting more acidic on her tongue than it had before. She couldn't remember the last time someone looked at her with actual love.

The door opened once again, drawing her attention away from the grooves in the table she had been studying. Another guy walked in, clad in jean shorts just like Sam and Jared, and slowly stopped just a few feet inside the house. He was tall and muscular, his broad shoulders taking up a good space of the doorway. His skin was a rich bronze that contrasted with his short dark hair.

Warm brown eyes met hers and she blanched, immediately looking down at the plate in front of her. Silence enveloped the kitchen until Sam spoke up.

"Cassandra, this is Paul. He was out doing some work for me last night, but he'll be around a lot."

"Hi," she said softly, finally raising her eyes to look at him. "Nice to meet you."

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Hi. It's nice to have a pretty face around here."

"Wow, fuck you too, Lahote," Kim said dryly.

"Aw, Kim, you know you're very pretty."

She rolled her eyes as she placed another plate of bacon on the table. "Eat up."

The three boys hesitated and then looked at Cassandra, Emily, and Kim. Jared shook his head and pointed at the table.

"Okay, okay, jeez." Kim sat next to her cousin and pulled a plate closer to her. Emily waved them off and continued pouring pancake batter. Did they really need all of this food?

"I'll be fine," she answered Sam's stare. "If it makes you feel better, you can make me a plate."

He took that as an acceptable answer and joined the table, leaving a seat open on Cassandra's other side. Jared sat next to Kim with Paul in between him and Sam, placing him directly across from Cassandra.

"We need to leave in an hour," Kim explained. "I figured we could go and get you some more clothes and stuff."

"I don't have much cash left. I figured I could try and get a job, but I also don't have a car," Cassandra sighed. "I doubt there's a place I could walk to around here."

"Don't worry about that right now. I have some money saved up and we're all willing to pitch in rides or cash. Whatever you need."

Cassandra squeezed her cousin's hand in thanks and then turned back to her plate. Two more pancakes laid there that hadn't been there before she pulled her attention away. She frowned and looked up at the occupants of the table but they were all talking about something.

She shrugged and continued eating. She was pretty hungry after subsisting off of granola bars and Gatorade the past few days. He had been so angry that she was scared to go to the kitchen to cook anything.

Tentatively, Cassandra flexed her wrist to test if her hunch was wrong. A sharp hiss of pain escaped her and she cradled her arm to her chest. It hurt like a bitch.

"Hey, how bad is it?" Emily asked, appearing behind her shoulder. "Do you need ice?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I figured it's just sprained but I can barely move it," Cassandra said. "I don't know how bad it is. I, uh, didn't really focus on the pain when he threw me into the counter."

She flinched at the sound of a glass breaking. Orange juice spread across the table and Paul stood quickly.

"Sorry," he blurted out. "I just..."

He was out the door before anyone could say anything else. Cassandra felt heat rise to her cheeks as shame coated her tongue. Of course he didn't want to hear about her problems. Sam muttered something about helping him and left after Paul.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Hey, you have nothing to apologize for," Kim said. "Paul just...he's a complicated guy. It's not you."

"Okay." She doubted her cousin's words but figured it was best to not dwell on it. Instead she pushed away from the table and grabbed the trash can, heading over to pick up the broken glass.

"What do you think you're doing?" Emily asked sternly, like a mother to a child.

"Cleaning?" Cassandra didn't see what the big deal was.

"Nope. Jared is perfectly capable of cleaning. Isn't that right, Jared?"

He held his thumbs up, cheeks puffed out with food. Kim rolled her eyes but leaned over to kiss his cheek.

"Dork," she murmured. "C'mon, Cass, we can leave now."

Kim was giving her an out and Cassandra gratefully took it. She tugged on her shoes and followed Kim and Emily towards Emily's car. Sam and Paul were nowhere to be seen outside.

"Don't worry, they'll be fine," Emily said. Emily might be only a few years older than Cassandra, but she seemed wiser than anyone she had ever met. The scars that ran along her cheek revealed the strength she possessed that Cassandra admired so much. She didn't want to ask where she got her scars. It felt too personal. Cassandra hated the idea of someone seeing and asking about her own scars. Was Emily's scars a product of anger, like Cassandra's?

Could she ever be as strong as the other woman appeared to be?