𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 • 𝔹𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟 𝕋𝕣𝕚𝕠 𝕩 𝔽𝕖𝕞𝕒𝕝𝕖! ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛.𝟷𝟸

The soft pitter-patter of raindrops tapped against the windows of the solarium, the gentle sounds creating a soft lullaby that would have been sleep-inducing had you not been silently crying yet again.

It's been two months since your trip to Okinawa ended horribly thanks to your husband, or ex now rather, and you haven't been out of your house since. You haven't been okay since then either, as if the fetal position you were currently sitting in wasn't proof of that enough.

You had tried and failed miserably not once, but four times at trying to take your own life since being back in your home - the home you had once loved to be in because it connected you to Ren, now felt like your own personal prison that you weren't able to escape.

Today was just like any other day. You were sitting on the bench just beneath one of the large windows. Your knees had been pushed up to your chest and your arms were wrapped around them as you held yourself tight, afraid that if you let go that you would take up too much space to deem necessary although there was plenty around you.

But still, you felt worthless and insignificant. You felt that if you so much as breathed too much that you would be taking up more than what was deemed acceptable for a lowlife piece of trash like yourself. The horrible thoughts and self insults came and went almost constantly and they consumed your mind making it harder and harder to justify why you were still here.

You couldn't help but think of all the 'I love you's,' and intimate moments that you and Ren had shared over the years. Now knowing that each gentle touch, each lingering stare, and proclamation of love was fake, you didn't seem to know left from right. Everything was confusing, everything was painful.

"Y/n," Sanzu called out to you from his spot in the doorway of the solarium. He had been here for the last two hours after switching off with Rindou, who you knew was growing frustrating by your one-word answers. He had been trying to converse with you, but you just didn't have it in you to keep up with him.

After all, what's someone like him doing talking to scum like you?

"Y/n, you need to eat, honey," Sanzu spoke again, striding towards you silently. He hated admitting it but seeing you so empty and lifeless had made something shift within him. He should be used to it considering how Mikey was, but not seeing you bite back at him for calling you ridiculous pet names unsettled him.

He had tried everything to get a reaction out of you, hell he even tried scaring you into speaking to him, but it only resulted in you grabbing onto the end of his katana, slicing your palm open, and pleading for him to kill you. Sanzu left in a frenzy after that, feeling guilt for the first time in a long time. He had never wanted to hurt you, as much as his mind tried to convince him otherwise and he took his frustrations out with multiple women, though the whole time he couldn't help but wonder how you would feel underneath him instead of a hooker.

"Sweetheart," Sanzu said, reaching down and brushing his fingers over the back of your exposed neck and reveling in the way you shivered from his touch, though you only hugged your knees closer to your chest as you began to cry once again.

Why is he touching me? I don't DESERVE a gentle touch like this. You thought to yourself, and even the voice inside your head was beginning to sound hollow.

Wrap them around my throat and choke the life out of me, please. I don't want to be here anymore, the silent plea had rang out loudly in your mind when you felt Sanzu's fingers trailing down the side of your neck, gentle scratching and leaving small red marks in their wake.

"Please, it's been three days and you haven't eaten anything Rindou made for you." It was odd for the pink-haired male to ask anybody to do anything as he usually only knew how to command, but at this point, he was growing desperate as he was beginning to watch you wilt away into nothing.