Confessions About The Affair

12

Gemma's POV

AFTER DROPPING off the paperwork at the auto shop, I decide to head over to Audrey's. The kids are probably at school. So it's the perfect time to check in on her. I'd take Veronica with me, but I have a feeling that Audrey and I should have privacy.

I know that she has to be at the bakery. Where else would she be? And when I see her manning the counter, wiping it as though her life depended on it. I almost mistook her for her mother.

"Hey," I walk over. She lifts her head, and smiles, "how's my favorite lady?"

"Tired," she yawns against the back of her palm, "can I get you anything? Coffee?"

"Yeah, coffee. And a muffin."

"Sure. Grab a seat, I'll join you in a sec," I nod and she heads to the back.

Grabbing a seat, she joins me, bringing my breakfast with her, "how are you holding up?" I ask.

Audrey leans forward and sighs, "Gemma, I appreciate you being here for me, for us. But I can't have you," she fumbles, "I really need you to stay away for a while. Go back home. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"What's this about?" I grip the handle of my coffee cup, "why are you—"

"I need time to figure out how to adjust on my own. Me and the kids, we need to figure things out on our own."

I'm confused, "did I overstep in some way? I never—"

"Gemma, I just, just let me take care of myself and my kids. I don't need you. I lived my life without you for over twenty years. And I'm capable of handling everything on my own."

She grabs a piece of folded paper from her pocket, and slides it over to me.

"What's that?"

"I can never repay you for all your grandfather did for us. But I can give you this."

I look at it and sigh. Picking it up, and unfolding it, I realize that it's a list of ingredients and directions.

"Wow," it's the honey banana bread recipe.

"I don't want you investing more money here either. I'm going to figure it out. Okay?"

"Are you sure? I—"

"Please, Gemma. I don't want to hold you here any longer," she gets up and continues to look at me, "it's on the house," she looks at my untouched coffee and muffin, "take care of yourself."

I watch as she walks away, and disappears into the kitchen. I'm not sure what just happened. Because it feels like I was just dumped.

She didn't even give me a hug—nothing. What did I do to fuck that up?

I HIDE out in my room for a few days. Veronica checks in on me, but I consume myself with going through my grandfather's files.

I realize that I don't know what my next step is. Sure, I talked myself into travelling. But do I really want to travel alone? Of course, I can meet women wherever I go. But that'll end without any significance the moment I'd leave.

I want something real. And I want to travel with someone by my side. Sure, I might pick up someone along the way. But, I'm just not confident that I'll get anything meaningful.

I thought that being there for Audrey and the kids would be the meaningful thing I'd do with my time. Now, that's out the window. And it doesn't seem like she wants to see me for a while.

I don't fully understand why. But I respect her wishes. I can't force someone to want me around. She made it very clear that she wants to be left alone.