Confessions About The Affair

15

Audrey's POV

I'VE HAD to make a lot of adjustments in my life. And deciding to sell the bakery is one of them. It's a good price, and I won't get a better deal for it, I'm sure.

Claire brought her girlfriend over for dinner last night. And as much as I want to be mad at them for what they did, I do remember the things I've done when I was their age. And it had to do with pregnancy scares, and antibiotics for infections. At least they're healthy, safe and not hooking up with Billy Mayers in the back of his car. I've never told Claire's father about all of my shenanigans, and he'll roll over in his grave if he finds out.

As for Gemma, I needed space from her. I needed room to breathe. And her being there for us was great, but it made me wonder if she's a bad influence for Claire. I now realize that it's stupid of me. Especially since I found out that Claire's been dating that girl long before she ever met Gemma.

And I do support Claire. I've even let her off the hook when it comes to going to church. I can't force her to. And as a matter of fact, I don't like having to go every week either. I'll go if I have time, but I'm going to make time to focus on other things.

There's nothing wrong with worshipping God from the comfort of my own house. And at least I won't have to endure all the pity from the people there all the time because of my dead husband.

I feel guilty for treating Gemma the way I did. She doesn't deserve that. What am I going to do to make it up to her?

Gemma's POV

STANDING IN the backyard by the pool, I light a cigarette and look into the dark, cloudy sky. There's a million scenarios running through my head. And in each of them Veronica ends up in bed with Sabrina.

It disgusts me. But it also turns into some sort of fantasy...

Fuck, I'm twisted.

The more I try to not think about those two women, the more I do. Their faces are stuck in my head. Their smiles, their laugh, their eyes...

And then there's Zoey. Sweet, kind, non-toxic Zoey. I can see a possible future with her. She's got a kid, a white picket fence and a cat. The only thing missing in her life is a partner. I could fit right into that picture. But is that what I want?

Zoey's one of those women who skips a bunch of steps in a relationship. She basically asked me to move in the other night.

Well, I've been looking for a place to live. And she just outright said it—you can stay with me.

All I said was thank you. I didn't even think twice about it. It's too soon. Way too soon. I'm not ready for that kind of commitment with her.

I'm thinking about having to drop her kid off to school, read him bedtime stories, make him snacks and clean up after him. And I'd have to sleep next to her every night, possibly get joint accounts, get that life insurance that I've been holding off, and be financially responsible for them.

It's barely been a few weeks. I'm certainly not ready for all of that. I'm not even capable of letting go of the past. How can I build a future?

Maybe I'm overthinking. But I don't even know her parents' names. And she barely knows anything about me. She doesn't even know about my recent financial change.

"You got an extra one?" Someone walks beside me, and stretches their hand out.

"Yeah," I hand him the pack, and he takes one out, before handing it back to me, "lighter?" I ask.

"Unless you just want me to just suck on this," he laughs and takes the lighter from me, "thanks. You're on vacation too?"

"Sorta. Heading to the mountains this weekend," I recognize him from dinner earlier. But we didn't talk. He was busy cozying up with his girlfriend.