My Favorite Sin (Republished)

Chapter 19

~ L E I L A ~

I just sit there blankly staring at him to see if he's joking.

He's just fucking with me. Right?

"Say something, amore." He says softly.

"What the fuck am I supposed to say Lorenzo? Huh?" I snap and he sighs then drops his head into my chest.

I fucking hate relationships.

I've never seen a point to them and all the relationships I grew up around only taught me that they're useless.

He knows. He knows how much I hate serious relationships that's probably why he offered "casual sex" at first so why is he doing this now?

I can't be in a relationship, I'm going to fuck us both up and he'll leave with his heart shattered in his hand.

I try to push myself off of him but he grabs my thighs and keeps me still.

I glare at him and say "Let go Lorenzo."

"Please don't leave" he says softly while he stares at me, His eyes clearly glossy and exhausted.

"Don't leave me again Leila"

He pleads and I feel a sharp pain in my chest.

Fuck. My heart hurts so bad.

"I know, trust me I know how you feel about relationships because of your parents and I know you're probably pissed that I'm even suggesting this but I can't fucking act like I don't feel the need to be around you" he brings one of his hands to rub his face, inhaling deeply.

"I'm not going to act like I'm not falling for you."

I sat there completely shocked.

What the fuck.

"Lorenzo" I sigh out, containing myself from freaking out.

"I think your just confused, maybe it's because we were friends and now we're fucking so maybe your just convi-"

He darkly laughs out but the sound itself sends chills down my spine.

"You think I haven't been falling for you for fucking years Leila?!" He slightly raises his voice and I close my eyes to try to compose myself.

Don't fucking punch him he's confused and angry.

"Open your fucking eyes Leila." I slowly open my eyes and look at him with a scowl on my face.

"No." I say simply.

"What do you mean no?" He says and glares at me.

"I mean I'm not doing this shit, in fact I think we shouldn't have sex for a while either" I explain and he looks at me in disbelief.

He pauses for a while so long I thought he wouldn't speak until he says, "Give me one reason. One fucking reason I can't be yours and you can't be mines Leila"

I stare at him and try to come up with a good excuse.

I can't find one honestly. I don't even know why I'm so afraid of relationships.

Is it my parents? They're fucking dead.

I'm not them, I can be better then them.

I could hurt him.

What if I get hurt?

"Stop stressing your head amore. Can we just try? If it doesn't work out we could just go back to before"

We can't go back to before. I'll fuck it up.

Relationships require things like opening up, intimacy, and honesty—