My Favorite Sin (Republished)

Chapter 23*

~ L E I L A ~

I feel him following me before pulling me back "Leila what the fuck are you talking about, we don't need to-" he starts to argue but I cut him off.

"Let's be honest, we both new this was hopeless. We tried, you said we would go back to normal if we fail. We fucking failed Lorenzo." I snap, feeling unexpectedly irrational and irritated.

He tries to reach for me again with a pitiful look but I pull away and return it with a scowl.

"Let's talk about it at home Leila not right outside a fucking hospital bathroom" he says, irritation growing.

I sigh, trying to calm myself because I know he's right. I need to set my head straight and we need to discuss this in a better environment.

"Fine let's go" I agree walking past him into the car. He gets into the driver's seat, driving us home.

When we get to the house we walk in and I sit on our bed while he stands there, neither of us talk.

He just paces the room and I sit watching him.

"I can't have kids" I state, breaking the silence and he freezes in his spot.

"I know" he replies.

My blood simmers at his thoughtless response and I struggle to maintain my cool.

"Why did you walk out? Why the fuck did you just leave me there like I was some old broken toy you didn't want anymore" I firmly say but my voice crack at the end gives away how vulnerable I feel.

He brings his hand up to his faces and rubs it "I don't know, fuck. I just panicked and didn't know how to react then the room felt suffocating so I just-" he says but I cut him off, completely spiraling out of control.

"YOU? You panicked? You're not the one who found out your shithead of a father took away your ability to have kids" I snap and he just blankly stares at me.

"And- and you are constantly leaving me, I need someone who can stay. Someone who wants to stay for me" I say mostly under my breath. More to myself.

"I'm sorry" he says with zero evidence of guilt or genuineness.

I explode. "STOP FUCKING APOLOGIZING!" I scream, feeling my heart drum in my ears as he just stands there.

I don't know what broke inside of me but I got up and headed towards him and started slapping and punching him repeatedly but he didn't move.

I'm currently too weak and tired to actually hurt him and we both know it which is probably why he's allowing me to attempt to make him feel a shred of what I feel.

He stood there and took everything until I let my hands slide down his chest in defeat.

I give up.

I feel my knees giving out and I prepare myself for the harsh contact of the ground but I never feel it.

Instead I feel his arms wrapped around me holding me up. I start sobbing into his chest and I can feel his breathing increasing.

"I can't have your kids" I tremble in his arms and I hear him let out a deep breath.

"I don't care Leila I just want you" he says and I slow my breathing and stop crying to look up at him to try to read his face.

Those are the words I needed to hear but I'm not stupid enough to just believe everything I hear.

"I'm never leaving again. Wether it's for a few years or a fucking second, I swear. Just don't leave me either" he says, his voice strained and worn out.