Rivalry

chapter 20

I kept looking back at the clock that was hanging on the wall of our classroom, monitoring the time left before the end of the class. I was anxiously tapping my ballpen on my armchair as I looked outside the window. Knowing Sebastian, I'm sure he'll play dirty later. I've been there many times. But this time, I swear that I will not let him control me. His confession last night gave me anxiety. I know I didn't tell you how i really felt about his confession, but let me tell you now. I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about the negative consequences. I know i don't like him, but thinking about the consequences shivers me. What would people think if they found out that there was a man that liked me? What if they think I'm gay? What would my parents' reaction be? Especially Dad. Those thoughts kept me awake the whole night. Sure, our university is not homophobic, but still, having a rumor around campus feels like hell. Everyone will judge you and treat you differently, and being part of the LGBTQ community is not an exemption.

"Mr. Nguyen, Are you with the class?" I flinched as I heard our professor call my name. He's looking at me, holding his eyeglasses on his face.

"Yes Sir." I answered in a low voice. Everyone is looking at me now, and i can't help myself to lower my head.

"If so, then let me ask you a question." He got up from his little podium and walked in front of the class.

"Why is it that they call the brain the center of all emotions?" He asked me, I scrunched my forehead. I thought the heart was the center of all emotions. What should i say?

"The brain is the center of all emotions that no eyes can see, no ears that can hear, no nose that can smell, and no skin that can touch." I answered, fiddling with my fingers. If you're wondering where I got that answer, I saw the quotes somewhere and it stuck in my head. The whole class went into full silence, looking at me, trying to digest what I said. Well, even I didn't understand what i answered, so don't look at me like that.

"In other words, they called the brain the "center of all emotions" because it's the brain's role that's responsible for behavioral and emotional responses. It helps to control our thoughts and actions." I added.

"Next time, focus on the front, not the window. You may sit. " I silently took a seat as I eyed our professor. There's no need to embarrass me like that, though. The class continued, and this time my full attention was focused in front. Taking notes, agreeing to whatever the prof says, and reciting. I do believe in love, but every time I'm thinking about falling in love, it scares the hell out of me. I don't want to be hurt or end up crying because of stupid people who make me feel loved. Then you'll wake up one day having a hard time coping with all the pain they gave you. "

That's it for today. I hope everyone learned something new today." I came back to my pace as I heard the ending remarks from our prof.

"See you tomorrow, class." I lazily picked up my things on top of my armchair and put them back in my bag. I walked outside the room and made my way into the locker area. I need to get my practice attire and also put my bag in there. I don't need to wait for Darren and Regie, since we all agreed to go straight to the gym Whoever got the class ended up first.

I arrived at the gym within 5 minutes and the first thing that I noticed was that there was no one inside. I checked my wrist watch and it's already 5:10 where the members gather here at that time. I sat down on the bench first and put on the shoes I would use for practice later. While waiting for the others, I thought of what to do or say later to Sebastian. I don’t know what to do because this is the first time I’ve ever experienced rejecting someone’s confession. I didn't expect this to happen either. If I only knew that this was the consequence of being friends with Sebastian, I would have become his enemy instead of having a relationship that I know is wrong. I was in the middle of my thoughts when suddenly someone entered the gym.