How To Make Mistakes(HTSAW#2)

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I shouldn't love this so much. I thought that every time and every day now. Finding the point I am supposed to show dissatisfaction and the time I am supposed to show joy was starting to blur. For the first time in my life, I am feeling something I have never felt before: the freedom of requited love. When you love someone it is always sweet but there's nothing that compares with having that love returned. I don't know if it is because of how long I have suffered under my unrequited love, but I found it to be a truly wonderful feeling.

It has been a week since Kongpob and I started dating. Although I didn't have any experience with dating and had to Google it a few times, I was ready to try everything.

Because I work five days a week, we only really had the weekend to go anywhere so we spent it at home eating dinner, preparing dinner, watching a movie, cuddling, stealing kisses, and trying to find the fine line between what is considered too intimate. When I touched Kongpob too intimately and passionately, I noticed he'd withdraw and look like he was cold. I can't say that it didn't concern me, I want to know what that was about, but then he would return to me and curl into me, press his face into my hair and act like he couldn't get enough of touching me. It was hard to remember why I should be worried.

I asked him a few times to explain it to me but it caused him to turn tight-lipped. I didn't want that so as of now I am ignoring the issue. It was fine for now but soon we will have to talk about it.

This weekend, at last, we were going to go out and spend some time doing some outdoor activities. I was thinking of how I would get Kongpob to hold hands, his was just hanging at his side and I have tried to reach for it, but my cheeks were aflame. Can I really hold his hand in public with people watching us?

I reached for his a few times but gave up. Even if I did reach for his hands what if it was too intimate for him and he drops mine like a hot potato as usual. It would be humiliating. Let's just keep walking side by side. This was nice too.

I felt warm fingers grab mine and a jolt went through me. When I looked, Kongpob was holding mine. "How..."

I didn't finish the question but he smiled, "you are so obvious P'Arthit. Why do you even have to hesitate about it? We've done a lot more than this. "He held our hand up to show me.

I was blushing but I said in a gruff voice, "that's because you can be so unpredictable."

"I am?" he laughed, "I think you are the one who is unpredictable, P'Arthit. One moment you are straddling me and trying to bury me with your kisses the next—"

"Kongpob!" I glanced around scandalized. Why is he talking about that outside? I am ashamed to admit that my lust for Kongpob was getting out of control. Sometimes it felt like my body was moving of its own free will trying to satisfy a hunger I wasn't ready to attempt consciously.

Soon though, we should talk about it. "Anyway," I shook our hands, "where should we go first? Cinema?"

"Hmm. I am actually a little hungry, maybe we should eat first."

"Okay, "I nodded. We got in the car again and drove off.

"We should do some exploring," I said.

"Exploring? Bangkok?"

"Yea, do you know everywhere in Bangkok rich boy?"

He laughed. "Do I look like such a shut-in?"

"You and Nue were both raised alike."

He nodded. "Yes, but I had ways of getting out of scrutiny very quickly"