Morning Glories and Your Mortality

the growth of marigolds (2007)

Benny remembered very vividly the moment he realized his father had changed.

He had watched his father enter a hospital room with his mother, looking nervous and very excited for the future. For some reason, Benny wasn't allowed inside. Benny remembered the screams of agony of his mother, and that made him grow uneasy, but the worst part of that day was the silence after the screaming.

He was confused. He watched as two more doctors quietly rushed into the room, and murmurs emerged from under the door.

An hour or two had passed in silence, and eventually his father had emerged from the room, holding a bundle of cloth. Benny could not understand the look on his father's face, he did not smile. He did not cry. And his eyes looked as if they had been glazed over.

"...Where's mama?"

Flores didn't respond, he just placed the bundle into Benny's arms, and he noticed it was a lot heavier than he expected. Benny adjusted to the cloth until he saw a baby's face. But, what Benny felt holding the girl was not the pride of being an older brother.

Benny looked to his father, and saw the man sitting in the chair that was outside of the room, head in his hands. He hadn't said a word ever since he walked out of the room.

He looked back at the baby, and didn't see a bundle of joy. He saw a burden to this family.

"You did this, didn't you?" his voice dripped with more bitterness than one would think a seven year old was capable of. Like the child has aged a hundred years just looking at his sister.

He stood there, holding the baby and staring at his father, who had not moved.

As realization plagued Benny's mind, he wanted to fold himself up into a tiny square and hide himself forever in his loving mother's pocket. But he no longer had a mother.