Flashfire

Ch35

Caleb put down the note in his lap. "Liam, why didn't you just say all of this?"

Liam bit his lip. "So it's true, then? I was useless to stop us from being destitute."

Caleb opened his mouth to speak.

Liam interrupted, panicked as he desperately tried to explain himself. "You have to understand that there was no choice! I couldn't fix what I had pulled you into. I couldn't live with myself. There was a time when I thought telling you would make things better to relieve the guilt, but it looks like I was right. It only made things worse."

Liam folded in on himself. "I knew what I had to do."

"It wasn't what you had to do," Caleb said starkly.

Liam shrunk away. "Well, I couldn't do any better for you."

"That wasn't what I meant!" Caleb yelled. "You actually don't get it still, do you? I thought that you knew I loved you. I thought that you knew, Liam, since you say it all the damn time, that none of this other stuff even matters!"

Liam stared at him, unblinking. "But-"

"Oh my god, Liam!" Caleb cried. He further burst into tears. His tears mixed with the old blood stains on the page. There was something in the spell book that crept to the back of his mind about the use of tears in ritual summons, among blood and other bodily fluids, but no amount of these things would ever undo what had been done. Tears wouldn't bring Liam back to life. Nothing would.

This wasn't a fairy tale.

"Well, now what?" Caleb sniffed.

Liam loathed seeing him like this. His eyes were red rimmed, glassy. It hurt him, it hurt him so much to see Caleb in this state. In a morbid way, Liam was grateful dead people couldn't witness their own funerals. It was visceral and ugly. Tentatively, Liam reached out, putting his hand on top of Caleb's. Caleb looked like he was going to cry again.

Liam smiled fondly. "Now you let me go."

"How?" Caleb's voice broke.

Liam smiled even though tears fell onto his cheeks. He got to his feet then, lifting Caleb to his own. Gently he led him out into the darkened bar. They sat on two stools, side by side, shoulders and legs touching. Liam placed his hand back on top of his husband's.

"Why?" Caleb asked, voice shaking, though this time it was out of anger. "It wasn't so bad. There are other jobs out there. You could've—you could've stayed with me until we figured it out." Caleb's voice hitched. "You knew that. You had to have known that, Liam."

Liam continued to smile through his tears. "It's more than that."

"How? How were you so miserable and I had no idea? I loved you, Liam."

"Loved? Caleb, I still love you."

"Don't say that," Caleb replied and pulled his hand away.

"Why not?" Liam asked softly.

"Because it hurts too much."

"But I do."

A temporary silence fell between the pair.

"Sun will be up soon," Liam muttered, looking at the darkened windows of what was once his bar.

"Now what?" Caleb whispered again.

"Now you let the foreclosure happen. Now, you let my family into the apartment to pack up my stuff."

"And just forget you, right?"

Liam put his hand on Caleb's cheek, looking at him seriously. "Never."

"I can't do this."

"You have to."

"Make me understand," Caleb said desperately then, and he clung to the front of Liam's shirt. "Please. Help me understand."

So Liam did. He got up, moving to the jukebox. He turned it on and found the song he needed. As 3 Rounds and a Sound by Blind Pilot came on, Liam went back to Caleb, gently taking his hands. Pulling him close, the pair danced in the center of the empty bar. Caleb shut his eyes, dancing slowly, determined to keep this in his memory for as long as he could. He only hoped old age would never steal it from him.

As the sun came up, and the song was half-way through, Liam began to fade. The sunlight peeked in, shining through Liam. Caleb cried harder, clutching to Liam tighter.

"You have to let me go," Liam whispered.

"I know," Caleb said.

"You'll see me again one day," Liam said, his voice starting to sound farther away with each word.

"I know," Caleb strangled out.

Liam stopped swaying as the final lyrics came on. He smiled, giving Caleb a final kiss.

"Why?" Caleb whispered.

"Remember what I said at the start of all this?"

Liam could barely see Liam now, even though he was still smiling.

"No," Caleb replied desperately. Maybe if he could draw out the conversation, it would make Liam stay longer. Maybe it would make the pain just a little bit less.

"You're the only thing I miss, Caleb."

The sunbeams of the new day enveloped the room. Still smiling, Laim disappeared, almost evaporated, seeming to become one with the light itself. Caleb put his hand over his mouth and gave out a strangled sob. It sounded unnaturally loud in the empty room.

"I love you, Liam, and I always will. Goodbye."

The End.