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Starin at the black carpeted floor, I waited in the lounge by the back exit where I told Dalvin to basically lure Izzy in. I'm not gonna front, I'm nervous as hell. I could either go left or all the way left, but either way it needs to be done. Lately I've been so tied up in Izzy's emotions and changes, that I hardly have been tending to mine. It's almost like people have forgotten that quickly that I've been battling my own issues emotionally, with being robbed a couple of months ago. I still don't know who set me up and that simple fact has been killing me slowly everyday. It's all good though for now, I'd rather make sure Izzy is completely okay first before tackling my PTSD. Still, a person can only be so strong...but I think that's selfish of me to think of, considering all the shit I'd put Izzy through.
Suddenly the door cracked open, interrupting my thoughts. Dalvin walked in first with Izzy close behind him. Izzy's expression changed as soon as she laid eyes on me, it's like she completely became...cold. She was like a statue, emotionless but that was to be expected. She stopped right in her tracks and just stared at me for a moment, before averting her attention from me to Dalvin.
"Why am I here."
Dalvin's goofy ass immediately looked nervous but he finally just huffed a breath out and spoke. "Look, I'm worried about you. I'm worried about the both of you ight? Neither one of y'all have been the same and that's completely understandable, but look y'all used to be inseparable. Now look, yall hardly even acknowledge each other."
I rested my elbows on my knees as my hands clasped together in a prayer pose. My eyes flickered up at Izzy, who's eyes intensely burned through mine. We just stayed like this while Dalvin still stood between us, trying to preach or whatever you wanna call it.
"Shit's been crazy weird and awkward lately. Everyone just wants to be cool again, like how we were 7 months ago when we first meet each other. Can y'all just talk...please? Just this once, and after that I won't mention it anymore..."
Izzy stumbled back like she was about to fall but quickly collected herself.
She's drunk, I didn't realize it until now but the more I look at her...she is.
Dalvin helped her sit in the couch directly across from me and handed her a bottle of water. "I'm gonna leave y'all to it," he shook his head before leaving.
Not gonna lie, at first I didn't know what to say. She just sat there with her head in her hands, I guess trying not to let the liquor she'd down take over.
"Izzy...Izzy look at me."
She looked up at me with glossy eyes, she kept her expression blank.
"I know I hurt you, and I know there will be a cold day in hell before I could ever come back from any of this. But Izzy I fucked up alright? I have to live with that and I'm willing to man and do so. I don't want you to feel like you don't hold value, do you not know who you are? The genius you are? Every attribute you carry to make an amazing person that you are? The beauty you project inside and out? You're a phenomenal fuckin individual and that's why I fell in love with you, hell that's why the world fell in love with you. These aren't just words Izzy, I mean it." By the time I was done speaking, I realized that her hand was in mine while I stroke the back of it. When I stared into her drunken eyes, I could see the old Izzy masked under the hurt one. It was like a breath of fresh air to finally see something familiar again.
But it was short lived.
She quickly snatched her hand away and abruptly stood up. She stumbled her way behind the couch she just got up from and turned to me. Once she faced me she held two handfuls of her hair in her hands and grunted in frustration. She squeezed her eyes shut as her chest rose up and down in hyperventilation. She was having a full blown intoxicated breakdown....
.OMNISCENT.
Izzy couldn't control her anger, her emotions. She's loosing myself..she's lost herself. She hadn't told anybody, but ever since she left the hospital she's been having nightmares and random flashbacks of her suicide attempt. It's gotten to the point where every morning when she wakes up, she downs a couple of shots of whatever liquors around just to calm her nerves. She can't help it, she thinks she needs to drink just to get through the day. In the movement of rage towards DeVante, she began having these flashbacks again, clutching onto her hair for dear life.
"WHY! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME! YOU CHANGED ME! I WAS DOING SO WELL AND YOU CHANGED ME BACK TO THE OLD ME, WHY!?" she screamed at De through hot tears and a reddened face.
De was a bit confused by that statement. The old her? But then he thought about her dad and how he treated her. As a result of that she was a rebellious and broken teenager, and now here she is again...broken. DeVante attempted to take a step towards Izzy carefully as he watched her spiral before his very eyes.
Before he could get any closer, Izzy picked up a nearby vase full of fake flowers, and threw it right at De's head. "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
Thankfully De's reflexes kicked in as he dodged it, making it shatter against the wall behind him. Just like clockwork, Dalvin came rushing in and immediately held Izzy's arm's to restrain her. She resisted at first, but eventually just sobbed in Dalvin's. This was a terrible idea De thought, but he couldn't help but to think he actually saw the Izzy he fell in love with a few months back, underneath all of the emotions. Still, DeVante is mentally exhausted at this point, and as much as it pains him, he now thinks it is best to just keep his distance from Izzy.
Permanently.
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Alright, well now that that's done..pieces of everything that's been happening, including that guy Izzy saw while she was in a coma, is going to start coming together.
Izzy isn't the only person that is changing, y'all will notice a couple of others behaviors begin to change in this story. Who do y'all think they will be?
Sorry for the slow updates, ya girl is trying but I'm soo busy or always tired 😭 I will do better. Much love y'all!
