Broken Contract (Book 2)(Editing for Publication)

Chapter 5: Moving On

Chapter 5: Moving On

            “Are you leaving me?” Quiana is standing at her desk looking like a beautiful executive.  Her hair is glossy and hanging over her shoulders. Her eyes are no longer dull and hurt but angry as she stares at me. My eyes follow her tongue as she slowly licks her bottom lip. I want so desperately to lick that same lip.

            “Yes.” She does not look up as she places several journals on her side desk.

            “I thought you said we would work this out. Try counseling. How can we work things out if you’re leaving?”

            “I will try counseling but I need my own space.” She turns around and faces me with angry eyes. I see the anger but her hurt fills the space around us and it chocks me. I know I did this. This woman that I love beyond reason stands here hurting and everything I know to do will only hurt her more. In our other life I would take her in my arms and pepper her face with kisses then carry her to the middle of our bed and make mad love to her until neither of us could remember why one of us was upset.

            “Quiana, what about our babies? Please consider Angel and DJ are in an excellent school system.”

            “Maybe the answer is to let them stay here with you until school is out. I will take Carrie and Jason with me. They require more care and would not interrupt your social life.”

            “Don’t Quiana. Please. My social life will be trying to win your heart again. And help raise the kids.”

            “As long as you know that may be a waste of time.” She walks around me heading to the door where she stops, her hand on the knob. “How could you David? I loved you so. I would have done anything for you. Tell me one need you have I did not try to meet.

You haven’t touched me for months but you go and spend the night with that witch! I just cannot understand. We were the permanent honeymoon couple.”

 She turned with tears streaming down her cheeks. She has not cried like this since Gran died. Late one night, a few weeks after the funeral, she crawled into my arms and started to cry. Her tears and sobs had broken my heart. Her tears and sobs are breaking my heart now. I want to bust a hole into the nearest wall with my fist. I love this woman with my whole heart. How could I have hurt her like this? I am angry enough with myself to kick my own butt.

            I start to move toward her but she raises her hand indicating I should stop. The tears continue to roll down her cheeks.

            “Do you think you are the only one? Do you know how many other men have been interested in me? You would be surprised if I gave you names. But I was committed to you David. The thought of another man’s arms around me was so repulsive. Even now, when I have such a need for payback, I cannot lay in another man’s arms.”

            I can’t breathe. I know what I have… what I had. Three children later Quiana is a beautiful and sexy woman. Her tight jeans, button down shirt, boyfriend blazer and heels would turn a lot of male heads in the center. She does not have to tell me she is desirable. I shudder to think about her being in another man’s arms. My children calling another man daddy. Her tears and these thoughts cause tears to roll down my face.  

            Her eyes are wide when she looks up at me. I am sure my tears have surprised her. She seems to be questioning my sincerity. I start to reach for her and she steps back against the door.

            “Quiana, I will move so you and the children can stay put. You and the kids did not cause this situation. If you will give me a couple of weeks I’ll find a place close by. Please?”

            She stares down at her hands. A tear splashes on top of one hand. “I don’t want to create a sudden separation between you and the kids. I have a place to go” She looks up into my eyes. I can’t look away or finds words to respond. She already has a place. This is really going to happen. I really have lost her. Nothing will ever matter again.

            “Where will you go?” My voice sounds weak even to me.

            “Betty is going to Brooklyn to stay with her niece for a month while she has her first baby. I am going to stay in Granny’s room at the cottage.”

            Oh, thank God! She will be a quick walk away. I will give her space and find a way back into her heart. She loved me once and I will make my very best efforts to make her love me again.