Look East | A Hozier Fanfiction |

37

Andrew's palms were sweaty as he stood outside in the courtyard. He craved a cigarette to ease his nerves, though he'd long since abandoned the habit in favor of preserving his voice. He'd put off speaking to Molly for two days, dreading it.

You have to do it, he told himself. The longer you wait, the harder it will become. Its gonna suck hairy monkey balls either way. Just do it.

He took one last deep breath and turned to go inside. Molly was in her office working, taking notes from a text book and rummaging through research on her desk with her laptop open on the side. He wanted to freeze her like this, to have this moment last forever. It would be easier if he could. He steeled himself and knocked on the door softly.

She looked up in surprise, and for just a moment he thought he saw the old Molly. She disappeared just as quickly as she appeared, though.

"I'm going for a drive," he said. "Could you come with me?" he asked.

"I'm busy," she replied, turning back to her work.

"Please, Molly. Its important," he implored.

He expected her to put up a bigger fight than she did. "How long will it take?" she asked, pushing back from her desk.

"Not long," he replied.

His heart beat hard in his chest as they got into his SUV. They drove in silence for several minutes, the countryside slowly turning into Greystones and then Bray.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"You'll see," he answered, not trusting himself to say anything else.

Molly settled into her seat and stole glances at Andrew as he drove. He kept his eyes on the road, his fingers tapping out a rhythm in time with the Beatles song playing on the sound system.

He'd gone over exactly what he wanted to say in his mind and rehearsed it over and over. He didn't expect much pushback from her, given how little she'd been interacting with him lately. Still, he felt like he needed to say it just so they were both on the same page. The standoff needed to end and he was just trying to do it in the nicest way possible.

Molly looked around as Andrew parked in the lot near the beach. "The beach? Why did you bring me here?" she asked.

"Come on," he instructed, getting out and shutting the door after him.

Molly followed him down the sidewalk to the steps that led to the beach. He steadied her with a hand on her lower back as she walked ahead of him in the sand. When they'd walked twenty feet or so, he sat in the sand facing the waves. The sea air whipped through his hair and he tugged his hat down further on his head. The sand was cold under his jeans, but he didn't pay it much attention. She sat next to him with a sigh, resting her forearms on her knees as she looked out at the rolling ocean.

Just do it, he thought, twisting his tongue against his teeth.

"Why did you bring me here?" she asked again.

He sighed. "I figured if things are going to end between us, it should be where it all began."

She recognized the beach now. He'd brought her here on the first day he'd shown her around Bray. They'd sat in the sun and talked. It was the first time she felt like someone saw her in a really long time. His words took a second to sink in.

If things were going to end, it should be where it all began.

He was ending things. Her heart sped up slightly.

"You're not happy here, Mol," he started, staring at the waves. "I can see that now. Even before the...even before, you weren't happy, not completely."

Molly looked away from him at the mention of the miscarriage. As long as she never heard about it, she never thought about it. If she didn't think about it, then it was easy to act like it never happened.