finally free 【Kenma Kozume x reader】

- 1 -

-(Y/N)"s POV-

I sat crossed legged on my bed, packing up my stuff.

Remember, (Y/N), no making friends. They"ll leave you anyways.

But...

Why?

"Hey! (Y/N)!" Yuki called. That was one of the times people caused me to fall into depression.

"Hmmm?" I hummed, staring at the rain. My (H/C) hair swayed in the wind.

"I... um...," Yuki started. She seemed really fidgety. I didn"t know why. "I have to leave!" That got my attention.

"Huh? Didn"t we promise we"ll be together?" My eyes started to burn. I knew it, I thought, fighting back tears.

"Um... I..." Yuki ran her fingers through her hair.

"No. Just don"t," I said firmly. She could give me excuses, but I knew the real reason for why she"s leaving. The disappointment turned into rage.

So.

Much.

Rage.

"Just go."

No one cares, I thought. All the times they abandoned me, they never had a shred of guilt. All the times they played me so I"d think that we were friends. They use me because of money. All the gifts I bought them. All the presents I got them. They just leave me after a while. It happened so many times that I was used to it. But... it always hurt. This time, they won"t have a chance to break me. I"m different. I"m not going to be as cheerful as I used to. I don"t need friends.

Dad... I felt thorns wrap around my throat. What would you do in these situations? What would you do if you were still... here?

"(Y/N), dear! We have to go!" My mother called.

"Okay."

-timeskip-

The butler opened the door of my car and gestured. I stepped and slumped down on the seat. Leaning against the window, I closed my eyes and let sleep take over.

I was drowning.

No air. No life.

Just the dark sea.

I"d buried my heart in layers and layers of ice. I knew I"d be left again if I let myself feel that again.

That feeling.

Hope.

Hope for a real friend.

I wasn"t happy. But I wasn"t depressed either. That was my life.

I hated myself.

I let the darkness hold me, afraid of what might be above.

Although I tried to fight it, under the thick frost I surrounded my heart with, a part of me wanted to feel it again.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)! Wake up!" My mother shook me. I rubbed my eyes stared at our new house. Why does my house seem to get bigger every time I move? I knew my mother was just trying to cheer me up a little, but it will never work. Although, seriously, astronauts could probably see it from space. As I unpacked, I stared at the unfamiliar ivory walls. This didn"t feel like home. Maybe I should go get some fresh air, I thought, walking down the stairs. Humming as I walked on the pavement, I stared at the trees standing tall and flowers growing on the backyard. Hopefully, they"re having a better life.

I wasn"t looking where I was going and crashed into someone.

"Ah geez! I told you not to play when you"re walking," a voice boomed. "You okay?" I looked up to see a boy with raven black hair and his hand stretched out. Another guy with blond hair and black roots stood behind him, tapping his phone. He kinda looked like a pudding.

"I can get up myself, thank you," I said softly.

"Are you our new neighbour? Just how rich are you?" The guy asked, pointing at the mansion. Why are these people even talking to me?

I just nodded. It"ll be rude if I don"t even answer.

"Oooookkkkayyyyyyy. I"m Kuro, and that over there is Kenma. Good to meet you!" He gave me a pat. "Oi, Kenma! At least say hi!" The pudding head looked up from his phone. He stared at me with his golden cat eyes before giving a wave.

"I"m (Y/N), (L/N)," I said.

"So what school do ya go to?" Kuro asked.

"I"m transferring to Nekoma," I replied.

"REALLY? We go there too!" Kuro grinned and held up a peace sign.

"Oh. Okay."

"We gotta get goin"! See ya!" Kuro waved as he turned and walked off.

The liveliness glistening in his eyes. I felt something when I saw him. Probably admiration. But... when I looked at Kenma... there was something weird. Meh, whatever. Probably my imagination. Even if it was what I thought it was, I can"t.

I can"t.

It won"t end well.

I won"t.

I won"t allow myself to feel that kind of hope again.