I Hope So

Chapter 4

** 2 days later **
Today was Sebastian's funeral.

Nothing seemed real to me yet. He wasn't here. But I was. I was here. But he wasn't. I felt the emotional loss as well as a physical throbbing in my heart. My best friend was dead. His parents looked at me with pity and I had grown bitter over the last two days. Everyone kept staring at me like I was going to suddenly spazz out and lose my mind.

I never did, though.

Not out loud anyways. Everyday I would float, smiling and saying "I'm good, how are you?" Each time it was a lie and each time I felt my heart break off into another smaller piece. Every night I would lie awake until my alarm went off and then I would go downstairs and pretend I had just woken up. I would call and call Sebastian's phone, just to hear his voice mail and me giggling in the background. I would survive.

And I would remember being okay.

The stupid, generic funeral music started and I vaguely registered another stranger staring at me in the corner of my eye. My mom held my hand firmly and I sighed. Bas's parents had written a stupid, generic eulogy for a stupid, generic crowd to pretend to have known Sebastian. They murmured "Sorry for your loss" and shed tears when we did.

And still, the stranger stared at me.

It was my turn to speak, so I shuffled forward on auto pilot. Usually, I would be afraid to talk in front of people because Sebastian would laugh at me when I stuttered, but since that wasn't a problem anymore..

"Sebastian Thomas was my best friend. He was gone too soon and I'll miss him everyday. I do miss him everyday. Knowing that I can't call and ask for last night's homework--" my voice broke-- "or go for breakfast on a random Saturday, or sit next to him in a class where I know no one... is pretty depressing, to say the least." I cleared my throat. "I'll always love him," I finished and trudged back to my seat next to my parents, but not before making eye contact with the stranger.

Black hair. Green eyes. No. This isn't real.

"It's not real," I whispered as a tear slid down my cheek.

I blinked several times and stumbled on to my seat. My mother looked around, alarmed. I pointed to where he sat. She looked curiously.

"What is it?" She whispered, seeing nothing.

It was Sebastian. He looked back at me, challenging me, taunting me. I watched him as he smiled and winked at me. I fought the urge to throw up.

And then everything was black.