The Remembering

Introduction

Life does have a way of compelling and calling us to search for more. Most of us have limited knowledge about our existence, which has been primarily acquired through our particular upbringing, education and environment.
This certainly has been true for me.
My family went to the United Church so we knew there was a God. I know my parents desired to be good people and church goers.
My mom had started attending Bible studies with some people that were opening her up to more about Jesus and the Bible.
My dad was not too open to these new teachings my mom was learning.
My dad was then diagnosed with bowel cancer during this time when I was still quite young. He was still quite young himself and didn't want to die. Dad literally fell on his knees in his shop on our farm and cried out to God for healing!
He made a bargain with God, that if God healed him, he promised he would serve Him always.
Well that is exactly what did happen and dad held up his end of the bargain!
Our family became the charismatic Christian family in our small community. This brought a lot of attention and ridicule. My dad's radical change in so many ways made him almost unrecognizable to many friends and family. I think many of the towns people thought he went off the deep end.
Many of my dads extended family members did find God and salvation through Jesus because of my mom and dad and so the journey began.
The Bible and its teachings were all I knew. I thought that it was the only way to God and heaven and all else would lead to hell for eternity if one passed from this world not being born again by accepting Jesus as Savior.
I only started searching for more answers when the life I had imagined for myself, virtually went up in smoke. I had always dreamed of marrying and having children since about the young age of nine years old. I thought my life would be so wonderful and fairy tale like upon marrying and starting a Christian family.
I was 21 when I married and my husband was a Pastor. I ended up having 4 pregnancies in 5 years. I lost twin boys when 5 months pregnant with the first pregnancy. The sadness I felt was almost unbearable.
The loneliness and depression that grew in me over the years largely due to a difficult marriage, was not something I fully acknowledged or came to terms with for quite a long time.
I will never forget the times when I would cry as I showered, begging God to please help me!
Help did come. I'll never forget when I first walked into a book store and the book that caught my eye and that I felt so drawn to on the shelf. It was on emotionally and verbally abusive relationships.
I read it and cried at the realization of the dire situation I was in with my marriage.
That book led to another and then to seminars, workshops and courses on personal development and then to spirituality in ways I hadn't been introduced to prior.
I did even read the Bible from cover to cover in a relatively short time.
I started to have hope for my life and could feel myself becoming stronger and happier.
My older sister had previously been talking to me about a different kind of spirituality and essence of God that she had awakened to on her own journey.
She had married very young but had never so readily accepted that my parents beliefs and way to God was the only way.
This different kind of thinking was certainly not easy for me to digest at first. It took awhile for me to really seek out truths for myself that I needed to awaken to on this journey.
I am very grateful that my sister never gave up talking to me, encouraging me to read this book and that, to listen to this and that, all along the way.
I am grateful for parents that believed in a God of miracles and salvation but I began to understand God and spirituality in a whole different way.
Many spiritual teachers, authors and people have helped awaken me like never before. I call these the way makers that God uses to open our eyes.
During the course of my journey I divorced and then remarried. There were many dysfunctional things in my first marriage and serious issues that couldn't be resolved. Getting divorced was also very difficult to go through, especially since divorce felt like such failure to me. It was not condoned at all by my family and the church culture I grew up in. But it allowed me to become more of myself and remarrying let me experience life and marriage in a much healthier and happier way.
Currently my three children are married and the sixth grandchild is on the way, all for which I am truly thankful.
Grandchildren have been such a joy in my life.
All my family have their own journey of discovery.
I hope I can love, support and encourage them on that journey, giving them the freedom to learn, grow and discover in their own way and time.
I was compelled to write The Remembering after all my own learning and growing that came from the many journeys and experiences of others. This has helped me immensely in understanding my existence, the knowledge of which continues to expand more and more.
The learning will never end for me but I am excited for the awakening in my life so far!