Sundance

14. One minute or ten years (Tobirama)

I whistled a little as I fried onions, bell peppers and broccoli in a pan. The rice was becoming soft and fluffy in the rice cooker, and as the vegetables fried, I warmed my hands on my trusty old cooker. I added crispy fried tofu cubes and soy sauce to the fried vegetables to make my favourite dish, put on the lid to let it boil before I made peppermint tea; it was a cold night. Very satisfied with myself, I took my cup to my lips to indulge before dinner was ready. I leaned back on my countertop, resting a hand on the edge of it.

I believed I had dodged a bullet regarding Izuna, if I were to be completely honest. It was clear I was his first healthy relationship he'd had in a long time, and I wanted a partner and not a project. What we'd had had been genuine, but when it came to it I didn't trust what we had enough to move with him. And based on his reaction, I had been right. He was too sensitive.

Was he, really?

I wasn't cold, by any means, but stayed collected in most situations. What made me believe I needed my partner to be the same? Thinking of it, I believed it was good for me to have a partner that was more emotional than me. And Izuna hadn't been unreasonable in his anger, had he? I hadn't even talked to him about it; I had just said no. And what about what I wanted? If Izuna wasn't a factor, wouldn't I have joined the circus to the States anyway? Had I done everything I wanted to do, which was finding Hashirama and telling him the truth, as well as to get some rest? Would this really be the right time to go back to my old life?

Will I ever be able to go back to my old life?

I wasn't entirely certain. For now, I couldn't help but feel relief that our relationship had been terminated before it gained true footing. At least for me. I wasn't sure how it was for Izuna. How badly hurt was he? Was he okay? Did he have anyone to talk with? Was that person me?

I was beginning to get increasingly frustrated.

Then came the knock on my door that would turn my life upside down forever.

Izuna!! was my first though. But why did I become so excited by it? Didn't I just feel relief he was out of my life? Apparently, the situation was much more nuanced than I had allowed myself to believe.

I went and opened.

The person standing there was a pleasant surprise. It was the clown girl who I had tied up at the party. For just a second, I smiled within me. I had loved how surprised everyone was by this skill of mine. I had never shared it with anyone before. The art of tying rope worked to soothe my mind, soften it up. It was as if I undid the knots within me for each knot I made on the rope. But there had been something special about doing it for an audience. And tying someone else up had been indescribably sensual.

But that feeling of pleasure lasted only a second.

Because I immediately saw something was wrong.

"What?"

"Madara had called a meeting in the big tent. There's..." Her voice cracked, and her face crumpled up. "There's been an accident."

It took me a second to process what she'd said. But then, when I realised, I turned off my stove.

And we ran.

I had never in my life done drugs, but a friend from university had told me about one time he'd smoked marijuana. 

He said the most eerie thing was that you completely lost track of time. This one time, my friend had told me, he'd been travelling by car with some friends, and they went through a long underwater tunnel connecting Sweden with Denmark. The experience had been excruciating to him because he had no idea whether the ride went on for a minute, or ten years.