The Writer's Heart

13

AS SHE sat on the patio overlooking the dark, London sky, her eyes began to shut down, and her thoughts drifted off to her safe place—being in Marilyn's arms.

"Auntie!" A shout interrupted her peaceful sleep, and she jumped out of her seat. Her nephew ran over to her, wearing his pajamas, with a toothbrush in his hand.

"Hey, buddy."

He grabbed her hand, and led her into the house. She followed him, without protest, to the bathroom upstairs, "brush your teeth. Daddy's gonna read us a bedtime story," his cheeky grin melted Jessie's heart. She grabbed her own toothbrush, and they brushed their teeth in silence.

When they were done, they headed into his bedroom, and got under the covers. Her nephew wouldn't allow her to sleep in the guest room, since he wanted her all to himself as much as possible. Kids loved Jessie, for some reason.

Jessie yawned and stretched her arms, "Timothy, are you all tucked in?" Kevin popped his head through the bedroom door. Carrie and him hadn't had so much alone time in a while, and when he was done with the bedtime ritual, they'd enjoy their time together.

"Yes, Daddy. Come read us bedtimes. Now!"

Kevin chuckled, as he walked into the room, and took a seat on one of Timothy's little chairs, "what story tonight?" Kevin asked.

Timothy thought for a moment, and rested his head against Jessie's chest with a yawn, "the three little pigs, Daddy."

Jessie closed her eyes, and enjoyed the feeling of unconditional love. She loved kids, more than a lot of people would believe.

TIMOTHY SLEPT peacefully snuggled into Jessie, but she needed to get up, and slipping silently away was difficult. Heading down the stairs, and into the backyard, she dipped her toes into the pool to test the temperature.

"Isn't it too late to swim?" Carrie walked beside her sister, and looked at her reflection in the water.

"I guess," Jessie couldn't sleep. And when she did, she either dreamt of Lily or Marilyn, two people that she didn't want to be thinking about.

"Something's been bothering you," Carrie had noticed how lost her sister seemed to be since she'd landed in Colombia.

"Something's always bothering me, you know that," Jessie sighed and slid down to the floor. She placed her feet into the pool, and pushed her chest up, with her hands on the ground.

"Any luck yet?" Carrie asked. Carrie copied Jessie's position. She knew how persistent Jessie had been, in the past few years, to find Lily.

"I found her," Jessie whispered. A tear escaped her eye, as she closed them. After so many years, her search was finally over.

"Really?" Carrie beamed excitedly, but Jessie shook her head with a frown. Jessie covered her face with her hands, and began to cry. She'd held in so many emotions that it was all pouring out. No matter how many times she'd cried about it, every time she did, it was worse, "Jess, what's wrong?"

Jessie hadn't told anyone, but her heart had been literally ripped into two. It was one thing to lose Lily in the first place, but what she'd found out was even worse, "she died, Carrie," the confession made Jessie pull on the roots of her hair. She looked up into the sky, and wanted to scream, but she wouldn't. Timothy was asleep, and she didn't want to wake him.

"Jess, how do you know all of this?"

Jessie swallowed and leaned back. She rested the back of her head onto the ground, and continued to stare into the endless sky, "I hired a private investigator to find her a few years ago. Only a few months ago he came back with information."

Carrie knew that her sister was hurting. And felt terrible that she'd been caught up with her own life. She didn't think that whatever was bugging Jessie would be so bad, "are you sure she's—"

"Of course I looked into it, Carrie," Jessie bit her bottom lip, and began to bang the back of her head onto the ground. If she had only done everything differently—fight against her father's demands, maybe, just maybe, Lily would still be alive.

"How did she?" Carrie hesitantly asked.

Jessie knew that question was coming, "while I was exploring my sexuality in college, Lily was burning alive in a house fire," Jessie choked up. If I'd never let her go, things would be so different.

"Jess, don't blame yourself," it was painful to look at her sister wallowing in her own self pity.

"But it's my fault, Carrie. I could've protected her. If I didn't listen to dad, she would still be alive."

"You don't know that for sure, Jess."

Jessie wiped her eyes, and clicked her teeth together, "I do. She wouldn't have been in that house if it wasn't for me. If I'd kept her, she'd still be with me."