Finding Cupid

Chapter 9

POV: Eros

I couldn't get the image of Alice's stormy eyes out of my mind - normally her irises were a crystal clear, piercing grey with hints of blue, but when she was curled into herself on the bed, fighting with the ghost of a monster, they had the same hue as a storm cloud. I had only ever seen Athena angry once, but it was not something I could ever forget; her eyes looked exactly the same as Alice's had. The two tempestuous orbs were ingrained in my mind, and every time I blinked, they stared into me. Alice. I had not met a woman more infuriating, and I wanted to despise her for the trouble she had caused me, but she was just a girl whose life I had screwed up. She had it together before I was there - I never told her, but I had seen her around. She had a steady job and was taking night classes to get her Masters Degree. Alice was put together - she was smart and professional and she cared for her sister and her father and stepmother. I was the one who had messed things up. Maybe Mr. Right was on his way - maybe she had her eye on someone... although I probably would have been able to tell.

Alice had permeated my mind, breaking into my thoughts and taking them over, until all I thought about was Alice - her beautiful dark curls, her bright silvery eyes, her porcelain pale skin. Iris had planted the seed, but Alice had implanted herself in my brain. I couldn't help myself; I had to be close to her. Even fighting with her was livening - she brought a spark to me that had not been there since Psyche got sick, and it was clear that Hedone adored Alice. And... lying in bed next to her, well, that had been more wonderful than I could ever imagine. She was a sleep talker, something I would probably never find cute on anyone else, and every once in a while, she would let out a tiny mewl and scrunch up her face.

She was so peaceful - seeing her panic when she woke up had put fear, cold and clammy, in my chest and constricted my breathing. I didn't know what to do, how to react. I guess getting Iris had been the right move, but I wanted to be the one to comfort her. She had assured me that she would be okay as she left the room, but I still worried.

"Damn it," I groaned, clutching my hair in my hands. "I cannot like Alice. I don't like her. I'm just attracted to her. Maybe it's just... it's the effects of the arrow spreading to me."

Obviously I knew it didn't work like that, but I had to convince myself not to like Alice. Liking people led to getting attached to them, and I could not afford to lose another person that I cared about. Besides, Alice was only with me to get the cure, and then she was going to leave me. Once she was gone, it would be easier.

I was lying on the bed in the room Alice was staying in, my hands behind my head and my feet crossed in front of me. My black polo was scrunched up from movement, but I didn't care anymore. I was so tired, mentally, from going back and forth, arguing with myself about my feelings for Alice. My eyes had just fallen shut when I heard the stairs next to the room creak. No one said anything, though, so I assumed that whoever it was had seen me resting and decided to walk away. I listened for the footsteps to try and see who it was by the weight of their steps, but I heard nothing. I peeked an eye open and looked towards the door.

"Don't you know that it's rude to stare?" I chuckled. Alice's cheeks flushed, a light rose dusting on her freckled skin, but she didn't stop staring at me. "Come sit with me. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." I shot her an I-don't-believe-you look. Wide grey eyes darted away from me - she was nervous around me. She gingerly sat down on the very edge of the bed, still looking away from me. Her curls were pushed up into a bun on top of her head, but tiny ringlets curled out around her hairline and surrounded her head like a dark halo. Alice's face was still a little puffy from crying, but somehow it did not make her look bad. She looked younger, but still... well, I couldn't admit it to myself because I was a wimp, but she looked beautiful. "I will be fine. I just... it happens sometimes. I'm so tired now, Eros. Like, really, really tired. And I know that it's not your problem and that you don't owe me anything, but... um... can I just lay here with you for a little? I don't really want to be alone and Iris got called away for something."

"C'mere." My heart fluttered softly at the thought of holding Alice in my arms again, but I stayed quiet about it. The poor girl still couldn't meet my eyes, so I took her hand in mine and tugged gently, pulling her into me. She curled into my body like she had been meant to lay right there with me - she smelled like hot chocolate and marshmallows, which I am assuming Iris had used to calm her down, and I lay on my back trying hard not to press my face into her neck and just burrow there, where it smelled like her and felt like home. Maybe she hadn't been the only one cuddling that night. "I've got you, baby. You're okay."

I was on my back still and she sniffled softly, picking her head up and laying it back down on my chest. I warred with myself internally. Don't think about her like that. Stop it.

"Eros?" Her voice was muffled, like an echo.

"Hmm?"

"Stop thinking so much. I can see it on your face that you're just as tired as me. Why don't you just... let go for a little bit?" I didn't know how to respond - I didn't just "let go." I was a God. A minor God, not one of the big twelve, but a God nonetheless. How could I just "let go" of everything? Of Psyche? Of Alice? Of my own confusion? "Are you overthinking this too, Eros?"

"Go to sleep, Alice," I frowned. She breathed out a laugh, her body bouncing up and down slightly from the exhalation.

"Look, Eros, I'm no expert. I'm really tired and probably pretty irrational right now. But you think so much. How does your brain even still work, man? I mean you need to just clear your mind of everything. Stop thinking about the consequences and just take a day off from doing whatever it is you need to do. You need to relax or you will just go crazy." I pondered over her words - she had a point. Sometimes, my thoughts felt so scrambled that I couldn't even comprehend my own words. Alice nuzzled her head up closer to the curve of my neck. Soft wisps of air tickled my throat as she exhaled. What if I stopped thinking for five minutes and just kissed her? What if I just... what if I just told her that she was confusing the hell out of me and that I needed to talk to her about how I was really feeling... how would she even respond? It's not like she wanted to be with me. And even if she did, it would just be because I screwed up with the arrow. Breathe, Eros. Breathe.

"Hey, Alice?" I wasn't sure where I was going with it, but I wasn't really thinking about that. I was just trying to get words out, so that we could clear the air. So I could figure out how we were supposed to interact. "Alice?"

The only response that I got was a light snore. I looked down at her, scrunched up my face to try and see if she was still awake. But her eyes were almost entirely closed and her mouth was hanging open slightly. She looked like a little kid when she slept, and she snored a little, which was kind of adorable. Alice reminded me of a kitten. And, Gods, was she different from Psyche. Psyche used to sleep spread out on the bed, her limbs thrown everywhere and her hair fanned out behind her. She liked her space. I had never really been bothered by her need for distance, but I could not deny that I liked the way it felt to hold Alice close to me. She was almost like a teddy bear, a comfort blanket, something that reminded me what it was like to care for someone other than my daughter. In that moment, I knew I would do anything that would make her happy.

I would let her go. I would find a cure and I would let her go.
*************************************
a/n

Hi guys! I'm sorry it has taken forever and that this chapter is so short. I'm working on chapter10 now too so that'll be up soon. I've had such bad writers block but not I'm back so I will hopefully be updating much more :) thank you to all you guys that are still reading this. Hope you like it!
xxx
Emily