Modern Roommates (Jurdan fic)

Chapter 12

*Haiii, this chapter will be pretty long, I hope you guys enjoy it. Sorry, it took a little while.
Thank you so so much to everybody who voted and commented on my last chapter. It was so fun to read them. Okay, enjoy.*

Jude's POV:

   I wake up to Cardan's arm draped over me. I am ass naked, pressed up against him. For a moment, all I want to do is stay in this moment with him. Where everything feels like a dream, and everything is perfect. But then he wakes up and now we're both awake.

It takes me an awkward moment to shift around to face him. I do and his dark eyes meet mine. At this moment, he's honestly beautiful. His black hair drapes over his forehead, his lips entirely too kissable, his freckles pop out.

His eyes focus on my face and for a minute I'm worried that I look gross. My hair is probably scattered, my lips probably look dry and my face is probably pink.

But his lips shift into a small smile and he leans forward. Then we are kissing and everything feels warm and cold at the same time.

His arm shifts and he's touching my back. I don't know what to do with my arms. He pulls away and I look at him curiously.

"Last night.." He starts. And then I am reminded. I am reminded that this isn't an actual relationship, this is fake. Last night was fake. Everything is fake. I am filled with a sudden despair that I don't know what to do with.

"..Was it okay?" I ask.

He seems a little surprised when I ask that. "Of course, more than okay." He says.

I nod.

He seems like he wants to say something. Maybe I do too.

Instead, he kisses me again and then sits up. I am rushed with disappointment and attempt to blow it off.

He gets out of bed and I watch as he gets dressed. I feel like I lost something, even though I have lost nothing.

I get out of bed eventually and head to my room. Cardan is in his bathroom, doing whatever. I forgot he has to work today. I have to work tomorrow. I get changed into a maroon tank top and black pants. Then I head to my bathroom and wash my face, hands, and put deodorant on. Cardan comes out and walks down the hall towards the kitchen. I follow and sit down at the kitchen island. The kitchen island where...I push the thought away.

I look up and see Cardan smirking.

"What?" I ask.

"We should clean that counter." Is all he says. I blush heavily.

Making him dinner last night was a completely impulsive thought, but I stuck with it. But I realize that friends with benefits don't make each other dinner. Or maybe they do, but they don't do it for the reasons I did.

What are those reasons, Jude?

I hear Locke's voice in my head.

Locke lays with me on the bed.

"What are those reasons, Jude?"

He's responding to my statement. The statement I made about suspecting that he was seeing somebody, or doing something behind my back.

"Why do you think that Jude?" He asked, "what are those reasons?"

I didn't know how to answer him. Maybe a better question was, "why are you like this?"

His finger trailed down my back and he leaned in to press his lips against mine. Kissing Locke felt unnecessarily anxious. Like a bomb waiting to go off.