The Shadows Solace Book I: The Growing Years Prequel

Chapter XII: Sirius

Remus wasn't sure what to do right now; Sirius was being obstinate and inordinately stubborn. He was getting agitated at being cooped up with how he was still in his healing phase despite his new surroundings, and twitchy the longer he went without being able to see his godson. Remus knew that part of the problem was whatever he had sensed in the bond as Harry's godfather; it appeared something had changed, though both could ill explain what.

Sirius only said that the feelings had changed vastly in a matter days; something he didn't like and made him anxious.

He started as Petunia flooed in all of the sudden; seeming exhausted and tired. Her eyes red and swollen from as if she had been crying a whole lot. Yet, she smiled, and her accompaniment was not better off. Adrianna and Augusta were both in similar states and made a sight; Augusta being the best of three though not by much.

He stood up and went to them, "Ladies, would you all like to sit and have tea? You all look like you've been through hell."

Petunia snorted then to that particular phrasing, and then she smiled weirdly as the other two smirked a little; Remus's confusion only rising.

"Yes, I think we would all appreciate it, but please fetch Sirius first. We need to discuss something very important to you and him about Harry before you are allowed to visit him?" Petunia said softly, "Please try to understand. Know that I have not tried to purposely keep you from him; I have changed because of Harry being with me, and things have been...delicate."

Remus blinked to that and then nodded as he left them to sit and get themselves comfortable. It was only moments when he returned, and Sirius walked slow behind them. He eyed Petunia now with scrutiny; blue-grey eyes wary and suspicious. His wild hair almost magnetic about him without magic or static.

"Is my godson alright?" He asked suddenly, "I felt a shift a few days before Yule; it went cold and quiet, and then yesterday again it flooded with warmth and happiness in the bond. I sensed it to him as his godfather and recalling how his emotions felt to me."

Petunia swallowed thickly as Adrianna laid a hand to her shoulder and Augusta inclined to her softly.

"He is alright. He is now, at any rate." She said slowly as Remus returned and poured their tea for them all as Sirius stilled in his seat.

"What does that mean?" He asked

Petunia considered, "Before I tell you; what do you intend to do now that your recovery is almost done? Are you going to demand custody of Harry from me; taking my nephew away from me?"

Sirius then eyed her before he made a pained sigh, "No, I am not going to demand custody. I wanted to; I wanted to so badly because I didn't trust you to care after all I witnessed as you interacted to Lily in her last few moments with us all. But I am not completely blind and I gradually saw that you had changed too. I saw the changes in you in the first few visits to see how my healing was going. And, I was in no place mentally to even consider taking him in and rearing him properly."

Sirius sipped the tea,  "Pardon if this is rude Augusta; but with Alice unable to care for him with me...Harry needs another female figure in his life who can act as a mother. He needs it not only for himself, but also to temper my own behaviors at times. I can be, at intervals, highly childish. It is partially me as a person. But also; it was how the Black Madness reacted inside of me. Inciting certain aspects of my personality and making them worse."

Sirius quirked a slow and sad smile, "My friendship with James; it made some parts better and less frequent. But due to how we were; a lot of other parts got amplified and exacerbated. Causing untold harm and more to others for no other reason than because I didn't like them."