𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒

Chapter 9

Draco awoke later in the evening to the faint mumblings of voices. He kept his eyes closed, not quite ready to deal with anyone yet. He picked out Dumbledore's voice, speaking with Madame Pomfrey...and was that Snape's voice there too? He knew what they were going to think, he had as much as confessed that he had tried to commit suicide. Something that was almost unheard of in the wizarding world, especially from someone his age. 'Well there's no getting out of it now. I can't let them know I was practicing wandless magic. Merlin,' he sighed to himself, 'what a mess.'

Why had he gone along with this? The old Headmaster could call his father at anytime, if he hadn't already, and then all his planning would be for nothing. Why had he even considered staying? Because Harry had kissed him? Because Draco had felt safe in the other boy's arms? 'Stay, I'll protect you.' Isn't that what Harry had said?

The Slytherin wasn't even concerned that Harry was a boy. He had never really been that impressed with the females he was in contact with. Most probably the fault of his intended, Pansy. Just thinking of her fawning and groping at him made him shiver in revulsion. He supposed, looking back, that he had always had an interest in men, but since his father had chosen Pansy for him and he was expected to provide an heir to carry on the family name for the Pureblood community he hadn't worried about it. There also was the fact that he wasn't sure how to start any kind of clandestine relationship with anyone without his father's knowledge and subsequent punishment, so he had accepted his fate as part and parcel of being a Malfoy and had fully intended to follow though with it at that time.

There had never been any kind or cuddly moments in the Malfoy household. Nor had he seen a tender exchange between his father and mother. He could never remember a time when either of his parents had held him, praised him, or comforted him. In fact, his father often reminded him what a disappointment Draco was to the name of Malfoy and to himself. Any lessons his father deemed necessary for Draco to learn were taught with a heavy hand and his mother seemed to be indifferent to him most of the time.

The blonde teen tried not to groan out loud at his stupidity. 'Am I that starved for affection that I'd do anything Potter says just to have the illusion that someone really cares?' Draco had to admit, rather shamefully, that he was. Even all the nasty tricks he had played on Harry, Ron and Hermione in the past had been to try and gain popularity with his Slytherin peers. He desperately had just wanted someone to truly like him.

He had picked on Harry the most, he now realized, because of him refusing to be his friend in their first year. He understood now, that he had acted like a pompous ass and that was really the reason Harry had turned him down. But at the time, that rejection had only reinforced the idea in his eleven year old mind that he was unworthy of anyone really caring about him. It had hurt, it had hurt a lot, especially when he would watch from a distance and see that Potter seemed to like everyone else he met. The reality that The-Boy-Who-Lived didn't want to make an effort to get to know him and be friends with him caused him indescribable pain and he had wanted the person that made him feel that pain to hurt as well. It was from that, that the resentment, animosity and rivalry grew.

'No wonder I'm so fucked up,' he bemoaned internally. He listened to the whispering for another few moments before opening his eyes and looking to where the voices were coming from. Sure enough, Madame Pomfrey seemed to be angrily whispering something to Professor Snape who was standing stiff as a board with a scowl on his face. Dumbledore was there as well, standing beside Snape with a serious expression on his face.

Draco was a bit disappointed that Harry was no where to be seen. 'He doesn't really care. You know that,' he berated himself. 'It's just his damn Gryffindor hero complex kicking in. Harry Potter; out to save everyone, even us villains.' Suddenly, Draco felt quite depressed.