poetry

echoes from my grave

As my chest constricted
In on itself
I found myself
Unable to move

I could no longer
Leave my home

Because even descending
My own front steps
Leaves me wishing
The pain
Would stop

I am trapped
In my birdcage
Left to only
Look down upon
The small world
Below my windows

The yard
And driveway
And the house
And the woods
Are all that exist
In the world
Outside my cage

On the rarest
Of occasion
I go beyond
And even then
It is just to
Doctors and hospitals

Offices with floors
Polished clean
And tables wiped
Sanitary and nice

All the doctors
Tell me to see
A specialist
For my issues
And all of the
So called specialists
Say the same thing
And send me away
To a different one

I just want to be
Left alone
In my birdcage
To sing my song
In solitude
And to flit about
From wall to wall
Dreaming of days
I flew free

So leave me
Get tired of me
And walk away
Stop looking
At the pretty
Pathetic little birdy

All I ask
Is that you
Remember
To give me food
And water

And maybe
On the off chances
You think of me
Come look at me
Talk to me
Give me but
A speck
Of your attention
To remind me
I am real

Either that
Or please
Put me out

Not outside
But out of my misery
For this simply
Pathetic
Painful and
Downright
Hopeless
Life I find myself
Trapped in
Is numbing me

I am less sad
I am less happy
Less less less alive
And more void
Of it all