Loving My Moon (ON GOING)

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"Wala na bang itataas ang grades mo rito, Ziandra?" Dad asked. He's calm but I know he's just stopping himself not to shout.

"Iyan lang po ang kinaya ko"

He laughed. I looked at him, he's looking at me angrily. I know he was disappointed. Ako rin naman, I'm disappointed by myself. I was blaming myself because my grades wasn't enough. Sino ba ang dapat sisihin? Ako lang naman. Ako naman ang gumagawa ng grades ko.

"Ano bang ginagawa mo sa paaralan at ganito lang ang grado mo?" He asked, "93, huh. Ang layo sa grado mo noong last sem na 97."

I gulped. Hindi ba p'wedeng i-cheer up niyo nalang ako? Is it too much to ask?

"I'm sorry po," sagot ko nalang. I want to fight for myself. I want to tell him that I did my best, but I know he won't believe me. Kahit anong sabihin ko ay hindi niya ako papaniwalaan. But it's true that I did my best. Tao lang din naman ako, I'm not a robot.

"Go to your room bago pa kita masigawan"

Agad-agad akong naglakad paalis. I don't want to receive a shout from my dad as of now. I'm really drained and stressed. I don't want to cry.

Don't cry, Ziandra. You can do this.

I was about to lay on my bed but suddenly someone knocked on my door. I opened it. Tumambad si kuya na nakahawak ng tempura at milk. I said don't cry, Ziandra! My tears betrayed me. Kusa na silang tumulo nang makita ko si kuya Zendrix.

"I'm here. Don't cry"

He hugged me. He was there for me whenever I feel down. He was there whenever I was sad or alone. My kuya Zendrix is always cheering me up.

"I did my best." I explained. "Kuya, I did my best. This sem was really hard for me-"

"Stop. I believe in you. I'm not like daddy"

I wiped my tears. "Thank you." I pout "Thank you for believing in me. That's what I want from daddy. Is it too much to ask?"

Kuya Zendrix sighed. "Dad raised his standards so high when it came to us. 'Wag ka nang umiyak diyan. Parang hindi mo naman kilala si daddy"

I bit my lower lip, trying not to cry so hard. "I was just . . . I was stressed. I just want him to be proud because I reached 93 grades. I was the highest. Kaming lahat ay bumaba dahil sa sem na 'to"

He sighed. "Don't expect na magiging proud siya sa atin. Kelan pa siya naging proud? Kahit mag 100 pa ang grades natin sigurado akong wala lang 'yon sa kaniya"

I was about to say something, but Zendie came. He was holding a bunch of popcorn. Ganoon din si kuya Zachary na may hawak na phone. I know he was playing something again, but he came here to cheer me up, I guess?

"What's up?" I asked. "Baka gusto niyong pumasok." Sambit ko at mas lalong binuksan ang pinto.

They came inside. Agad humiga si kuya Zachary sa bed ko. Zendie was just eating his popcorn.

Si kuya Zachary ang panganay, sunod si kuya Zendrix, then me, and Zendie.

"Dapat talaga lalake ka nalang, ate." Zendie said while eating his popcorn.

"Why? Ayaw mo ba ng ate?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Anong ayaw. Dalawa na nga ang kuya ko e. Ayaw ko nang madagdagan. Nakakasawa sila"

"Get out you lil brat," kuya Zachary said.

"Ziandra." Pagtawag ni kuya Zachary.

I looked at him. He turned his phone off and he looked at me straight. "Don't listen to dad nalang kasi. 'Wag mong dibdibin ang sasabihin niya. That old man talaga! Kainis din 'pag minsan"