xi. lovers in empty light

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September 22nd, 1983

The Hotel, Room 103

7:11 a.m.

My eyes fluttered open to the sight of blond curls looking down at me

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My eyes fluttered open to the sight of blond curls looking down at me. "Christ James, do you always watch people sleep?"

"No, I was just about to wake you. Where were you last night?" He lit a cig, handing me one.

"Thanks. I just went for a walk to clear my head. Light?" James held the lighter up to the cig, lighting it as I took a puff.

"Did you see anyone or anything?"

"Not really, why?"

"Who bruised up yer neck?" A smug smile filled his face. After a moment of confusion, I got up and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, taking a puff of smoke. Hickeys. Everywhere. Fuuuck.

James stood next to me, arms crossed and waiting for an explanation. "It was probably just from the headbanging, man" I tried to get out of the bathroom, but James blocked the door, not budging.

"Who's the leech?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, move." I said in a threatening tone.

 "C'mon, I won't tell."

"Fuck off, Hetfield." I squirmed my way through a space left in the side and picked out some clothes, black velvet flares and cropped Venom shirt. As soon as James followed me, I ran into the washroom and locked the door. 

"Fuck you, Astra" James roared, as I flipped off the door and changed in peace. I hummed pleasantly to myself, brushing my hair and packing up my stuff, as we were leaving and getting breakfast on the road. After I finished in the bathroom, I left to pack the rest of my things, and James sat on the bed drinking. "Want a beer?" He offered.

"It's not even 8 a.m. James," I dismissed him, packing some of my discarded clothes. "Also last night, there was a sticky ass towel, what was it?" James' face dropped, then he burst out laughing.

"What did you do with it?"

"I was tryna wipe sweat off my fucking forehead, what the fuck was on that towel James?" I asked more urgently in between his laughter.

"Last night I had a couple of chicks in here while you were gone..."

Oh my fucking god.

I ran my fingers through my hair, shivering in disgust. "Oh you fucker. You dumbass fucking cunt!" I opened the nightstand table, grabbing gideon's leatherbound bible and started hitting James repeatedly with it, as he lifted his arms to protect himself.

"Hey, hey, hey stop! I won't tell about your hickeys if you stop hitting me god!" Perfect.

"Next time you wipe your cum off some groupies throw the damn towel on the ground." I threw the bible on the bed. "You need to read that some day."

I dawned my sunglasses, hickeys covered with makeup and collars, bag flung across my shoulder and guitar case in hand. As everyone slowly met in the hall, Kirk and Don walked out, sending a smirk on my face. "Good morning, Astra," Kirk smirked, and I could see he also had hickeys on his neck and chest, but no one questioned him. Goddamn double standards.

"Morning Kirk," I looked down at my feet, trying not to draw James' attention to Kirk. Thank god his curls hid most of them.

"Right, let's go! Next stop, Portland." David's smoke filled enthusiasm led us down the hall and the stairs and back on the bus. We were going to stop at a hotel for the night to rest, then we'd play our next gig tomorrow as soon as we reach portland, as the drive was over 17 hours. About an hour into the drive, I got rather bored. Don, James and Cliff were asleep in their seats, not even bothering to use the bunks, and Lars was beginning to get on my nerves. 

"Hey Astra, how are you?" Lars asked for the third time this hour.

"Bored."

"Wanna fuck?"

"God, shut the fuck up Lars."

"Wanna play strip poker?"

"No, now leave me be."

"Alright then, suit yourself." 

I got up and decided to go to the couches to smoke. As I passed the bunks, a hand reached out and covered my mouth, another grabbing my arm. The hand left my mouth after he was sure I'd be quiet and the finger wiggled to the bunk in a 'come here' motion. I slowly opened the curtain enough for me to climb in, and I crawled on top of a waiting Kirk, closing the curtain behind me.

"Kirk, this is risky as fuck." I whispered as quiet as a mouse. 

"I wanted to see you," He smiled, warming my heart.

"Gah, shut up," I blushed.

"C'mere," He moved over so I could lie, and he caged me in on top of me, boths his knees on either side of me and elbows around my head, looking down at me. "Will you meet me tonight?"

"I don't know Kirk, I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Getting caught. James saw the hickeys on my neck so I had to cover them with makeup. He noticed I was gone and asked me so many fucking questions, it's just too risky."

Kirks smile dropped to a frown. "Aw shit I'm sorry,"

"No, don't apologize, it was fun as hell getting them." I smirked up at him, and he was smiling again. He leaned in and kissed me, then kissed me harder, and soon enough we were making out.

"Last night I was left so unsatisfied," He whispered into my ear, kissing my jawline.

"Me too," I confessed as if he couldn't clearly tell, going back to kissing him. His calloused hand went down my chest and stomach and inched closer and closer to what he wanted. "Kirk, they'll fucking hear us."

He only smiled devilishly, leaning close to my ear to whisper again. "Then you better be quiet," He slipped down my pants and underwear, and putting his hand over my mouth and licking his fingers, he thrusted two fingers inside of me. As he slowly began thrusting, the hand on my mouth silenced my moans, and my eyes shut, completely immersed in the magic of his fingers. I wasn't thinking about the fear of getting caught, but only of him and how good I felt. I internally thanked Lars for turning to blasting music after my seemingly 100th rejection, as if not we would've definitely been caught by my ever growing moaning. I arched my back as Kirk sped up, hitting the right spot every time. He leaned in to whisper again. "You like that? I know you do, baby,"

I shook my head confirming what Kirk knew, closing my eyes again trying not to scream out in pleasure. "Look at me," he rather commanded than asked, and I obeyed him. He has never looked more attractive than looking down at me, sweaty curls stuck to his forehead and biting his lip and I moaned into his hand, heavily breathing out my nose. As he thrusted faster and curled his fingers, I could feel my climax coming. I held onto Kirk's back with both my hands, showing him that I was close, and after a few more thrusts I dug my nails deep into his back, making him hiss in pain as I scratched the hell out of it and I came right then and there. Kirk finally removed his hand from my mouth as I gasped for air as quietly as I could. He looked straight down at me as he removed his fingers, licking them clean. God he was hot.

"Thank you," I kissed him, hooking my fingers into his curls as we explored each other's mouths in pure bliss. Kirk lay on my chest and I played with his hair as he held me. A boy and a girl in the dark. Two people with hungry hands and hungry eyes.

Two lovers in empty light.

Lovers, lovers, lovers.

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